Hot chocolate afternoons

I love enjoying a mug of hot chocolate on a cold afternoon. It's even more fun to share the fun with some great kids! We lucked out that today was Benny's "early out" day (school lets out two hours early on the last Friday of the month except December and May) so he got to join us!

Not sure what this look was about, but I love it!!

A little blurry, but I love that he wanted to enjoy his hot chocolate while reading to himself.

A boy after my own heart.

Anne was already put in bed by this time (unfortunately she is still not sleeping...) and Lilia missed out on the treat since she didn't eat the rest of her sandwich.

That was left over from yesterday's lunch.

 Because she's a stubborn little girl.

But I can be much more stubborn.

She also knows that she won't have any chili, rolls, or candy from the ward Halloween party tonight unless she finishes her sandwich.

That I am bringing with us.

Too much?

And now the kids are enjoying their second movie for today (Benny's first).  Both Monster-themed, incidentally (Monsters, Inc. and Monsters vs Aliens).  It must be Halloween time!  We did set the timer and were able to get the family and living rooms cleaned up, so I think we're good to take it easy as we start our weekend.

Now my turn to get my salad ready for a (late) lunch and then to make some rolls!

When Andy gets his hands on a camera

He makes the most of it.

And these were only about half.

I didn't even have to teach him.

My secret. (plus a Halloween picture)

Spencer left for Ada, OK early last Tuesday morning and he will come home late tonight (Tuesday). We just finished October, which had Spencer in Dallas during the week (so grateful he was able to come home on weekends!). It's been long. I'm tired. I'd like Spencer to be home full-time again. But I know we'll be fine. Starting January his rotations are in Tulsa again.

Of course, I could handle things better than I do while Spencer's gone, but I do think I handle things pretty well. This is something I've worked at long and hard over the 3+ years we've been here. I've gotten really good at just doing what needs to be done. I still have a long way to go, but I'm definitely moving in the right direction. (I don't think I've used paper plates once while he's been gone - I'm not against it, I've just been doing dishes every night, which is a big accomplishment for me.)

Sunday I took the kids to church on my own. While things weren't perfect, I reminded myself that they never are. Even when Spencer's here. The kids were very good. And the wonderful family that sits behind us took Anne a couple of times for a little bit. I even resurrected the quiet book this morning (it had been missing flowers) and was able to take that again. It was a definite help.

That evening, I talked briefly with a man in the ward who had called to ask about Spencer's home teaching for October (side note - Spencer's companion so wonderfully offered to take care of things on his own because he knew Spencer had such limited family time). This man, who had been sitting across the aisle from us, mentioned that I did a great job with all four kids on my own. I told him my secret:

Whenever the kids and I go to church without Spencer, I say a prayer in the parking lot before we go in.

I remember the first time I went to church with three kids by myself. That seemed like such a huge deal to me then (there are a lot of things that seemed like a huge deal in the past and no longer are. I'm trying, now, to not make such a huge deal of things because they will inevitably not be one). I'm grateful that as I was driving to church that morning I had the thought that I should pray with the kids (in addition to the long continuous prayer I had going in my head that whole morning) before going into church. So I did. I think I have done that each time since then.

I have been working recently on being better at prayer. I recently read this and I've also listened to this talk a few times since I heard it originally during General Conference this October. I highly recommend both. I've had a very nice time working at improving my prayers. I'm grateful for the things I'm learning.

Prayer has become so much more real to me than it ever has been. There are some days I feel as if I have a continuous prayer running the whole day. I have also had the privilege of having many prayers answered. What a wonderful gift it is to be able to have a direct connection with God. I have been more an more humbled the more I see how much God is watching out for me in very real ways.

Some time ago I had a conversation with a lady and we were talking about being far from family geographically. I mentioned that I was grateful for the opportunity to grow closer to Heavenly Father through prayer because when it's so easy to turn to family for all kinds of help, we miss out on the opportunity to pray in the same ways we would otherwise. After I said that, the lady responded and said that prayer was all well and good, but when it comes right down to it, there's nothing actually there and family can be there for you.

I don't remember my response, exactly, but I'm sure I politely changed the subject. I have had a lot of times where I've needed something and I haven't known exactly what. I am grateful for my loving Father in Heaven who knows, even when I don't, what I need and how I need it. I have prayed to specifically prove that woman wrong. And I have. I have felt immeasurable comfort when I have been alone and I have been able to continue on with what is required of me.

Monday morning I had all four kids fed (steel cut oats with strawberries and cinnamon - I didn't tell them I left the sugar out!), dressed, and in the van before 8a. To be fair, Benny and Andy fed and dressed themselves and buckled themselves in the van. Lilia fed herself and at least picked out her clothes. Anne, well, we're working on her. :) We dropped Benny off at school right at 8 (I hope it's not counted as a tardy). Straight from school I went to Sam's Club (for lots of produce) immediately followed by the grocery store for some non-bulk items. The kids and I were home by 9:30a. I felt great.

I marveled at how far I've come when I remembered that with only two kids I would do whatever I could to not go to the store until Spencer was home. Or I would ask a friend to sit with the kids. She only did a couple of times, but I asked more than a couple of times (remember, Lynsie?). I think I finally started learning - and living - the lesson that I've been trying to teach the kids for a while: doing work will help us get stronger.

I want to mention another thing that has really helped me lately. I short time ago I was anticipating this time with Spencer gone. I was thinking it was just going to be so hard and unbearable. Then I thought, what am I scared of? I'm not scared of our kids. They're ours. I know what to expect - pretty much! I'm the mom. Am I scared of work? I decided to not be scared of the work but to just be ready to be tired. Very tired. Frequently tired.

I also remembered something I thought I heard in General Conference April 2010. I even wrote about it in my journal the night after I heard it in conference, but when I went back and read the whole talk I said it came from, it wasn't there. Regardless, it's a lesson I'm so grateful to have learned and I consider it a huge lesson from the spirit. It was something I thought of during Elder Bruce Carlson's talk. The opposite of faith is fear. You cannot have faith and be afraid at the same time. Couple that with what I read in Richard Edgley's talk from last October: "Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism." Without having read that before, that is the conclusion I had come to. I don't want to choose to be afraid of our kids or of what I have to do when Spencer is gone. I want to trust that things are all going to work out for our good. I am trusting that God will not forget me and he will take care of me when I fulfill my end of the bargain.

And now, the kids on Halloween.

Benny: Optimus Prime, Andy: Max in his wolf suit, Lilia: Super Girl, Anne: Monkey

Too long

Tonight I opened my cello case. Don't ask the last time I did that. I wouldn't be able to tell you with much accuracy the last time. Thankfully I can say I have opened it more than twice (definitely more than three time including tonight) since we have moved here. I was asked a couple of Sundays ago if I would play my cello along with a primary-aged girl playing the violin for a number in the primary program in September. I agreed, knowing that I should brush up a little bit before it came time to practice with the violinist because it's beneficial if the calluses aren't raw when playing in front of people.

On our way home from church today Benny asked why I don't play the cello any more. I don't know if he heard me talking to Spencer about playing or if it just popped into his head (it has done before). I asked if he'd like me to play it today and he said yes.

After story time tonight I remembered about that, so instead of singing to the kids tonight, I played (and sang just a little). When I opened the case, I let out the my first gasp. All of the strings were loose! (but thankfully the bridge was in place) I have never liked tuning, though, and with all the strings loose, this will take some doing. I get started - slowly - and my second gasp let out when my A string snapped. What a bummer. Thankfully I tuned the rest and was able to play all of the songs the kids wanted by going into higher positions. (Now I just have to buy a new A string - and probably a whole set of strings because I have no spares.)

It was fun to play again. Every time I play I want to more often; although I know it is not really my time or season for regular practice/playing. Tonight (and many other times) I have been incredibly grateful that so much of my cello ability comes naturally. I'm not great, but I can play. Honestly, through my whole life, I have never done all that much practicing of the cello. Sure I've had my ups and downs, but I have relied so much on my natural ability. Because of that I have never gotten much into music theory. There's a lot I know from learning to play the piano growing up, but there is a whole world out there I have barely touched. I remember sitting through a cello workshop when I was in high school by my cello teacher (I took lessons from a very talented woman who plays the cello for a living - as does her husband). There was so much I didn't know that very small (and young) cellists did. At the time I was quite self-conscious about it. I am somewhat amazed at how well I got by.

I decided to play the cello in 6th grade on a whim. I had originally decided on the violin because my mom owned one. We had just moved to a new area of town and we all attended new schools. The only girl I had really met my first day happened to be in my orchestra class. She played cello. There were so many students who had signed up for violin that I told the teacher I was going to switch to cello. In reality, I switched so I would have someone with whom I could talk. Quite lame, but typical "Junior High Faith." And there it began. I remember being told early on that I had a lot of natural ability. I kept hearing that as I grew up. I think it was because of that that I didn't practice much. I relied so much on my ability. That carried me through quite a bit. I did work harder when taking private lessons, but never as much as I could have. I remember, though, the last time I pulled my cello out here I played a piece for Spencer that I had played at a recital during high school. My response after playing: "I used to be good!"

Some months ago my mom told me about a study that had been done with children. Two different groups of children. Each group was given something to complete - a puzzle of some sort. After completion, one group was met with praise such as "You're so good at that!" Praise of natural ability. The other group was met with praise of their hard work. With the challenges that came following the first, the second group is the one that completed it faster and with more energy. The point was that they felt like they had accomplished something. They gained mastery over something difficult. The first group didn't worry about improving anything because why should they? They had the gift.

Since this conversation with my mom, I have changed the way I talk to our kids. I feel like our kids are very bright (most moms do, I imagine). I used to praise natural ability all the time. Now, I try to mention "work" somewhere in there: "Good work!" "You worked hard on that!" "That was a lot of work you just did!" etc. I really feel like it's making a difference in how the kids respond. I'm noticing much more in Benny and I'm grateful for that. Especially being in school now, I don't want him to be afraid of doing anything that takes more effort.

I didn't make the connection until just this evening that this has been the problem with my cello skills. I have always relied on my natural ability. The times that I have put forth the effort to practice and master certain pieces or passages, I have loved it. But I have let myself rely so much on the other as good enough. And now it is not my time or season to devote much of my life to playing the cello. Maybe some day I'll have a chance to take lessons again. For now, though, my goal is to take it out of the case more often. The kids enjoy it and so do I. And so does Spencer. And the more I use it the greater the chance for the strings to stay in place. And let me tell you, that may be enough motivation because I hate having a toothless cello.

Sometimes I start to wonder why things go so well. Or why we have been so blessed. Very quickly I stop myself. Instead I express my gratitude. I have felt this way for quite some time. I feel very taken care of. Most recently I have felt that prayers are being answered on my behalf and I'm incredibly grateful.

In the past when Spencer has been gone, while we have all survived, I have not handled things as I should. My mentality was pretty much just to get through the time Spencer was gone and then things would be better. Yes, things are better when Spencer's around, but life must still continue when he's not. This time things have been different. I have done more with the kids and it's been great. What's funny to me is that I'm figuring this out with four kids. It would have been much easier to figure it out with two. :) At least I'm learning it at all!

It's kind-of hard to explain what it is I'm feeling and learning. I can say - as I've mentioned before on this blog - that your capacity grows with your experience. A little over a year ago my sister Bethany shared a quote with me: "That which we persist in doing becomes easy to do, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." (Heber J. Grant, Improvement Era, 1936)
I think what's going on right now is that I am in the middle of this. It's a wonderful feeling to see your capacity increase. It's tiring, but wonderful. I think I may just need to get used to being tired.

I was going to keep going, but I need to stop myself because I need to finish packing for our trip (leaving bright and early tomorrow morning!).

To those of you praying for us -- and anyone who has ever offered a positive thought in our direction -- Thank you. It has been felt.

Overheard and random thoughts

Me: Andy, what kind of present do you want for your birthday?
Andy: Uhh, BLACK!


Things have been going well lately. I have a tendency to let frustrations get to me and I end up responding in less-than-ideal ways to our kids. The end of a pregnancy is an easy time for this to happen. I'm not a bad mom. I'm just not always a very nice mom. On Sunday I realized something that is helping. We had ward conference on Sunday and a member of the stake primary presidency came to the class I teach (CTR-4, Benny's class). At the end of class this lady told me that she really enjoyed the lesson and said that I did a great job with the kids. I thanked her and was glad to hear the nice things she said. Then I wondered if someone observing me in our home would say the same thing about how I work with our kids. I want Christ to be a constant presence in our home. I don't think that he would give me the same feedback as the sister in church did. Sometimes, sure. There are often times, however, that I let fatigue get to me or I let myself get annoyed at the things all kids do. At those times I would not get the feedback that I am handling our kids really well. I'm working on getting that feedback.
I remember my parents telling all of us at different times that if we couldn't get along with our family members then we couldn't go play with our friends. I think I would be well-served if I institute that rule for myself now.

This pregnancy is continuing to go well. At my appointment today I found out I'm at a 3 and 50% effaced. I'm thrilled that things are headed in the right direction. This just goes to show every pregnancy is different. This is the first time I've crept along like this. We'll see how it ends up! (besides, of course, the fact that it will end with a baby.)
A little history: Because Benny was born by c-section I have to have one scheduled every time. Thankfully my doctor is willing to schedule them for as late as his insurance will allow giving me as much time as possible to go into labor on my own. Andy and Lilia were both delivered normally and we have no reason to think that won't happen again. I'm scheduled for 10 Feb, so, if nothing else, two weeks from tomorrow we'll be holding our new baby girly.

At this point everyone is nesting in their own way. The boys have been really starting to care for their stuffed animals in a nice fatherly way. It's really cute to see. They're doing a very good job taking care of their "babies." Lilia, also, is getting quite maternal. She's latched onto her babies much more lately. They know what's going on and it's really cute to see.

None of this may make sense. I've been close to falling asleep for a while now, so forgive me for the ramble. Hope you at least enjoyed the "overheard"!

A lesson to be learned (and some Halloween)

I think I finally figured out the lesson that God is trying to teach me (lately. of course there is more than one!). That doesn't mean I've fully learned it and that problems will go away. But it does mean that I'm admitting to myself that other than my own choices, I don't have any control over anything. And even thinking about it more in these terms right now, it feels very liberating.

It feels like the boys have been waking up earlier and earlier lately. Benny has been wearing underwear to bed for quite some time and he's been doing a wonderful job of getting up whenever he needs to go to the bathroom. The trouble is, in the early morning hours, Benny will sometimes turn the bedroom light on when he goes. That, rather unfortunately, wakes Andy up. As soon as Andy wakes up, both boys think that it's day time and time to be up and play. Sometimes they stay in their room and play. Sometimes, like this morning, they make their way out into the family room and start playing (this has been around 5a or earlier). Spencer is just wonderful and this morning he got up 4 times to get them to go back to bed. I thought it was only twice - maybe three times. I was wrong.

This morning has been a bit of a hard one for me. Not because the boys are acting especially tired or bad, but because I have been letting their lack of sleep get to me. I want to figure out what I can do to fix the problem. There have been countless times I have wished I could make a child sleep. Our kids have always slept well at night. We have, however, struggled with daytime naps - particularly with Benny starting at age 2 and Andy recently.

I think the lesson I need to learn is that we are not in control. We may think that we are - and we may have moments where we feel like we are. Those are delusions. I just looked up "delusion" and it includes in the definition: "typically a symptom of mental disorder." That reminds me of the definition of insanity that I have heard often: "doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result." Apparently I suffer from insanity. Knowing is half the battle, right?

In all honesty, I believe we need to know our limits. I think it's part of having low expectations. It's not about doing nothing, but taking care of what we can. Just because I have no real control over my children does not mean I should cease to instruct and implement certain consequences for certain actions. Just because I had no control over Benny and Andy throwing sand in the sandbox at our ward playgroup today doesn't mean I shouldn't enforce the consequence of removing them from that situation if they do it one more time. They did, so I got them inside. I am grateful that they weren't throwing the dirt at anyone else - or even each other - but I don't want them getting into that habit or getting sand in their eyes or others' eyes.

I think it's also important to learn that even some of the things we do have control over need to be let go. I could choose to have control over keeping my house spotless. That is something I have chosen to let go - not completely. We don't live in filth. But if I tried to always be picking up after our kids or hounding them to pick up everything right when they're done playing with it, nobody in our house would be very happy. I'm learning to adapt to my situation in life.

These lessons have come bit by bit to me and I'm grateful. This year I almost decided to make a costume for Benny. I called my sister Bethany to ask her about the costume she made for her oldest daughter that (I'm guessing) they're 6th child wore for Halloween this year. After talking to her I decided to keep things simple and I bought Benny's costume (eight bucks at Dollar General). It was wonderful. He loved being a "good" Darth Vader. What really cracks me up about it all is that we almost had to talk him into wearing his costume to the ward Trunk-or-Treat. He wanted for a while to wear what he wears his Iron Man costume: a red long-sleeved t-shirt, his blue warm-up pants, red slippers, and Spencer's Gryffindor beanie pulled down over his face. He would have been just as happy wearing that. I'm glad I didn't worry and stress over making a costume for him when it would only have negatively impacted the whole family. Some things are just not worth taking control of.

I do find it ironic - and comforting - that of the three costumes for the kids this year, the one I didn't make won a prize at Spencer's school's Halloween party. That makes three years in a row for Benny. The Max wolf suit I made two years ago won two years in a row. This year he won "Scariest" costume. I tried explaining that to him and he kept telling me he wasn't scary. He's a good Darth Vader. So, although the "pressure's on" for next year, I'll probably buy the costumes we need for next year - or start sewing in June!

I wish you could hear Benny saying "cheeeeeeeese!"


I heard that Lilia was going to win "Cutest," but they wanted to spread out the winnings.
A very cute little lion won.
She sure was a cute little monkey and everybody got a kick out of her walking around everywhere. She loves her costume and wore it around the house a couple of afternoons looking pleased as punch!


Waiting for the judges to finish.


Oh, and I won best adult costume. I haven't dressed up for years but I thought the kids would get a kick out of it. They loved the silly braids.
At the trunk-or-treat the adults all knew who I was but I got blank stares or "What's with the hair?" from a bunch of the kids. I guess Pippi Longstocking is more dating than I thought...

i need to lighten up

God is kind. He knows what we need and He gives it to us often. more often than we realize, probably.
just this morning i was talking to a friend. i expressed some of my frustration at hearing from people in the ward every once-in-a-while (usually at the end of sacrament meeting) that they are "so glad [they're] not in [our] stage any more." it's not that i don't believe it. i very much believe it. it's that it would be nice to hear more words of encouragement. maybe something like, "it doesn't last as long as you think it will," "it'll be over before you know it," or especially "you're doing great!" i'm sure we look pretty frantic sometimes with our three kids under three years apart and i'm sure we remind a lot of people what it was like for them.

i had a few errands to run this morning and we were out of the house for a while. i used to shy away as much as possible from going out of the house with two kids, but i've found new energy for just doing what needs to be done. i've realized that it's not really harder to get out of the house with more kids, it just takes longer. a lot longer. i also have to try to time it just right because there's lilia who needs to nurse, andy who still naps, and benny who is now using the toilet to go to the bathroom(!!!). sometimes it feels like quite the ordeal. i guess we didn't go that many places, but we were gone for a while.

we went visiting teaching and had a nice visit until the boys started acting really tired. my companion did get lilia to sleep, though (she likes to sleep on her stomach), so that was wonderful. we had to go to the store for a few things and i bet i just look crazy with the kids. i carry lilia in the baby bjorn and hold a hand of each boy until we get to the big cart with the seats. today a family leaving stopped and asked if i wanted their big cart (less than half-way through the parking lot). they had three kids and the mom told me she knows what it's like. very nice to get help like that. luckily we didn't need very much, but as i was checking out i realized that i had forgotten to bring in the prescription i needed filled for andy. this was one of the main reasons for this trip to the store. i had tried getting it filled at this walmart last saturday, but monday when spencer tried picking it up they told us it had been lost. i almost didn't want to take the new one there, but it's so darn convenient. i took the groceries to the car and took the already tired kids back into the store. amazingly enough, the worker that had taken my very frustrated call about the lost prescription was there and had found it but didn't have my number to call. they had filled the prescription! what a blessing.

this was probably way too much build up for what happened while waiting at the pharmacy, but it illustrates how much it was needed. there was an older, retired couple sitting across from the pharmacy. i'm not sure why they were just sitting there because they weren't in line (i asked). but they were wonderful. they smiled at the boys and the man would take off his cowboy hat and put it back on for entertainment. they were so nice. they said that they had been there before. the man told me his wife raised 6 kids that they had within 8 years (i actually applauded her - and mom, i'm applauding you too (my mom had 6 in 8 and then 2 more in the next 4 years). i applaud you every day.). this woman said that i deserve the applause because things are harder now than they were for her. i'm not sure about that, but it was nice of her to say. i found out that a few days ago they celebrated 58 years of marriage. this woman said that if her husband decided to leave her, she's so used to him that she'd probably follow him. they have 12 grandchildren and several great-grandchildren. they mentioned how blessed they were. they said some nice things and sent me off with a "have a great life." what wonderful people.

i needed that experience. i am so grateful to have come across a random couple sitting across from the walmart pharmacy. they were happy with me and happy with my kids. and they know that what i'm doing is worthwhile. God did that for me today. and i'm so grateful to Him for that.

that experience got me thinking about my kids and how i respond to them. i've always been quite a perfectionist and that has trickled into my parenting. i have been trying to have perfect kids, which i know, of course, is a total joke. kids get tired. they scream. they spit. they whine. i can't make them stop that. of course i can parent and teach and explain, but there's only so much of that you can do with kids 3 and under. people know that kids can be that way. to an extent, kids will be kids. kids need to be kids. there are behaviors that need to/should be stopped, but there's a lot that will be grown out of - as long as there is teaching done along the way. i need to remember that even though i've got hang-ups (that of course will get passed on to my kids - no way to avoid it!), i'm a good person. i try to do what's right. i'm trying to teach my kids to love their savior. things are going to be alright. heck, things are alright. they're great. i just need to lighten up.

it's not about you. it's about them.

i've had some tough days as a mom. i've had some tough weeks. right now, in terms of benny's napping, i've had a few tough months.

for the last little bit, things have been a little easier. i'm not exactly sure why, but i think part of it is something my sister bethany said to me one afternoon: "it's not about you. it's about them." this may seem quite basic, but it was very helpful for me to hear. we were talking about the nature of mothering and how life can be very hard and even crazy at times (many times). i think that i've been trying to fit too many different things into my days that are for me. when you have certain expectations that don't get met, it's very frustrating. when you're a mother, things, almost always, will not go according to that plan.

i've had a perspective shift of sorts. i don't really expect to get things done - for me - throughout my day. yes, there are things that have to get done for the family - grocery shopping, other errands, laundry, and dishes (the latter two sometimes only when absolutely necessary - and that may or may not include getting things put away); however, the bulk of things revolve around what my kids need. they need a playmate. they need a teacher. they need a role model. mostly, they need a mother who is happy and who isn't always getting upset over not being able to do what she has planned.

to the untrained eye, it may seem like i get nothing done with my time. but many of you mothers out there already know, i know, and, most importantly, god knows that i am working to give my kids a happy, healthy environment with a mother who does not regret her choice to stay at home and take part in raising the next generation.

*for the record, i have never regretted my decision to stay at home with my kids. they give me great joy -- and occasionally cause to scream.

paternal instincts

we have noticed the past couple of months benny's innate paternal instincts and it has been so fun to watch. benny sees what i do with andy all day and he wants to do the same things: lifting him from the floor (grabbing him around the waist and pulling), feeding him (i always use a blanket, so feeding andy consists of holding him on your lap and covering him with a blanket), etc. benny's been pretty good about not trying to do tons of things with andy. what i think is so cute is that he'll take various stuffed animals and parent them.

these are some of my favorite moments:

you can see andy poking out the left side of the blanket. i love how happy benny looks to be "feeding" his brother. as long as he's not lifting up his shirt, i'm happy too!

for the record, benny did put the bar with toys in by himself (it's detachable). i did the buckles, though.

i really like these two pictures. spencer took these when i was at a meeting a couple of weeks ago. whenever benny sees me taking the baby bjorn out, he knows that it means we're going on a walk (i need a picture of the circus that we are - pushing benny in the stroller while carrying andy in the baby bjorn - it's quite the sight). so one evening benny wanted to take his dog for a walk. spencer got him all set up with the baby bjorn and benny loved it!

story time

i wish i had a picture to go along with this story; however, my first reaction was not for the camera but was, regrettably, to take the item from benny.

spencer and i had just gotten home (maybe from church) and we were changing our clothes. we walked into the living room just in time to see benny walking out of the kitchen with a chocolate in one hand, the tray of the remaining chocolates in his other hand, and a chocolate in his mouth. he walked out of the kitchen saying, "mmmm..." with a little smile on his face.

like i said, it is regrettable that i didn't get the camera instead of taking the chocolates away (it's a process, but i think that little by little i'm starting to lighten up - something my sister assures me will happen some day anyway), but i'm glad i have this cute story to tell about our son. it really was pretty funny. we usually try to keep the kitchen door closed (gratefully we have a door!), but sometimes we forget - especially because benny's getting a lot better about not getting into things he shouldn't. it has been nice, though, to barricade him into the living room where all his toys are. he is, however, getting closer and closer to being able to open doors. he can reach handles and he knows they need to be turned - he just doesn't have enough leverage yet. oh, what we have to look forward to.

our california adventure

well, i'm finally making a record of our trip down to california to watch the callister kids. i'll try to keep it fairly brief or i'll never get it finished.

spencer, benny, and i flew down on thursday, 24 may 2007. this is a little story within our story. originally spencer was going to fly down a day later because he was in the middle of spring classes. about a week before the trip he was looking for a place to retake the mcat and the only place that worked timing-wise out of most (if not all) of the western states was in redlands, ca - about 30 minutes from bethany and nate's in fontana - on friday, 25 may 2007 at 8:30a. this was a major blessing for us. we changed spencer's flight to the same as mine and we had a fairly uneventful trip - if you don't consider benny falling asleep in my arms on the plane a major event!

it was nice to have the time to spend with bethany before they left on saturday morning. bethany is usually the one i call when i have questions about kids, pregnancy, meals, etc., so it was nice to have some overlapping time.

i got quite acquainted with some of the freeways down there driving back and forth twice to get spencer to and from the mcat. after the test spencer felt really good about how it went. we've since gotten the score and it turned out to be what we were hoping for. we really feel so blessed with how everything has been going in our lives.

saturday morning bethany and nate left for hawaii. this was the start of spencer's and my having 5 kids (and expecting a 6th! although we didn't know at the time).

spencer was there through the long memorial day weekend. sunday we had quite the experience at church, but we managed to get through it. on memorial day spencer grilled some hamburgers and chicken and we made some ice cream (ben & jerry's mint chip). i must say that it was really nice to have spencer there with me through the weekend with all the kids home all day. tuesday afternoon the major challenge started...

on tuesday amanda and tanner had school, so spencer was able to get all of his stuff ready for his trip back while i watched naomi, chris, and benny. when amanda and tanner got home we were all set to go to the airport so we went straight there. we were just at the exit for the airport when spencer realized that we hadn't brought the laptop... so, we turned around to go get it. we were listening to "joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat" in the car, which the kids love, so they did really well in the car (i got these cute pictures). our timing wasn't too bad on our second trip to the airport and spencer made it on the plane just fine. i am so grateful that spencer had a mwth schedule for spring term because he was able to stay through the whole long weekend while all of the kids were at home all day.

the rest of the week went really well. we got a good schedule going, and by the end of the week i learned that i should have loosened up for everybody's sake. we did have a lot of movie time, which was good for everyone - we even watched the sing-along version of "high school musical" twice!

i learned a lot in my week as a mother of 5. one of the most important things i learned is that i need to relax a whole lot more about things. it's not worth taking every single thing so seriously. kids are kids and it's important to let them be kids - to a certain extent! i hope benny and his siblings benefit from the things i've learned.

some other pictures from our trip...

well, i'm not sure how to get these pictures to look quite right in this format, but here goes...

the picture on the left naomi is holding benny with chris on the left.
on the right is amanda feeding benny (which she was very willing to do!) again, chris on the left.

naomi at the counter coloring.

chris and benny in the kitchen.

amanda and naomi each wanted to try out the camera...

naomi's picture (her finger was in front of the flash).



amanda's picture (you can tell i never really did my hair while i was there...).

bath day for benny!

it really was a great trip and i'm really glad i was able to help bethany and nate enjoy a good time in hawaii! i think i'm finally ready to admit that i would do it again.

ps. in case you didn't catch it, we're pregnant! baby two is due 6 february 2008.

our adventure

we had a great opportunity to watch clark and susy's (spencer's brother and sister-in-law) kids for two days and two nights (sun night, mar 18, through tues, mar 20). before sunday night i had a few waves of fear come over me that made me wonder if i could pull it off. it was quite the adventure. monday morning spencer left at 7a (right after rylee and kamryn woke up) and didn't get back until after all the kids were asleep (due to a test review he had that night). we had a great time, but talk about baptism by fire!

i have a new-found respect for mothers of multiple children (and i can't forget mothers of twins - benny and cannon are only 4 1/2 months apart). you are all amazing for what you do and what you have done.
i'm looking forward to watching bethany and nate's kids in the next couple of months (that will be completely alone!) and clark and susy's kids again in august (that time for about 1 1/2 weeks).

benny is getting more and more interested in solid foods. he was enjoying a biter biscuit (thanks, again, courtnie!) that he got all over himself!

kamryn was having a good time with our activity. we made a clay-like turtle and fish that can be turned into magnets.

rylee and kamryn.

it was hard to get a good picture of cannon because he kept getting closer and closer to the camera. he's so smiley!

benny loved plaing in the exersaucer. he had a great time standing and bouncing up and down. it really wore him out, and he took a great nap that afternoon, and he slept really well that night.

benny is still trying to figure out what to do on the grass.


cannon has it all figured out...


i just love this picture of kamryn.