i need to lighten up

God is kind. He knows what we need and He gives it to us often. more often than we realize, probably.
just this morning i was talking to a friend. i expressed some of my frustration at hearing from people in the ward every once-in-a-while (usually at the end of sacrament meeting) that they are "so glad [they're] not in [our] stage any more." it's not that i don't believe it. i very much believe it. it's that it would be nice to hear more words of encouragement. maybe something like, "it doesn't last as long as you think it will," "it'll be over before you know it," or especially "you're doing great!" i'm sure we look pretty frantic sometimes with our three kids under three years apart and i'm sure we remind a lot of people what it was like for them.

i had a few errands to run this morning and we were out of the house for a while. i used to shy away as much as possible from going out of the house with two kids, but i've found new energy for just doing what needs to be done. i've realized that it's not really harder to get out of the house with more kids, it just takes longer. a lot longer. i also have to try to time it just right because there's lilia who needs to nurse, andy who still naps, and benny who is now using the toilet to go to the bathroom(!!!). sometimes it feels like quite the ordeal. i guess we didn't go that many places, but we were gone for a while.

we went visiting teaching and had a nice visit until the boys started acting really tired. my companion did get lilia to sleep, though (she likes to sleep on her stomach), so that was wonderful. we had to go to the store for a few things and i bet i just look crazy with the kids. i carry lilia in the baby bjorn and hold a hand of each boy until we get to the big cart with the seats. today a family leaving stopped and asked if i wanted their big cart (less than half-way through the parking lot). they had three kids and the mom told me she knows what it's like. very nice to get help like that. luckily we didn't need very much, but as i was checking out i realized that i had forgotten to bring in the prescription i needed filled for andy. this was one of the main reasons for this trip to the store. i had tried getting it filled at this walmart last saturday, but monday when spencer tried picking it up they told us it had been lost. i almost didn't want to take the new one there, but it's so darn convenient. i took the groceries to the car and took the already tired kids back into the store. amazingly enough, the worker that had taken my very frustrated call about the lost prescription was there and had found it but didn't have my number to call. they had filled the prescription! what a blessing.

this was probably way too much build up for what happened while waiting at the pharmacy, but it illustrates how much it was needed. there was an older, retired couple sitting across from the pharmacy. i'm not sure why they were just sitting there because they weren't in line (i asked). but they were wonderful. they smiled at the boys and the man would take off his cowboy hat and put it back on for entertainment. they were so nice. they said that they had been there before. the man told me his wife raised 6 kids that they had within 8 years (i actually applauded her - and mom, i'm applauding you too (my mom had 6 in 8 and then 2 more in the next 4 years). i applaud you every day.). this woman said that i deserve the applause because things are harder now than they were for her. i'm not sure about that, but it was nice of her to say. i found out that a few days ago they celebrated 58 years of marriage. this woman said that if her husband decided to leave her, she's so used to him that she'd probably follow him. they have 12 grandchildren and several great-grandchildren. they mentioned how blessed they were. they said some nice things and sent me off with a "have a great life." what wonderful people.

i needed that experience. i am so grateful to have come across a random couple sitting across from the walmart pharmacy. they were happy with me and happy with my kids. and they know that what i'm doing is worthwhile. God did that for me today. and i'm so grateful to Him for that.

that experience got me thinking about my kids and how i respond to them. i've always been quite a perfectionist and that has trickled into my parenting. i have been trying to have perfect kids, which i know, of course, is a total joke. kids get tired. they scream. they spit. they whine. i can't make them stop that. of course i can parent and teach and explain, but there's only so much of that you can do with kids 3 and under. people know that kids can be that way. to an extent, kids will be kids. kids need to be kids. there are behaviors that need to/should be stopped, but there's a lot that will be grown out of - as long as there is teaching done along the way. i need to remember that even though i've got hang-ups (that of course will get passed on to my kids - no way to avoid it!), i'm a good person. i try to do what's right. i'm trying to teach my kids to love their savior. things are going to be alright. heck, things are alright. they're great. i just need to lighten up.