it's not about you. it's about them.

i've had some tough days as a mom. i've had some tough weeks. right now, in terms of benny's napping, i've had a few tough months.

for the last little bit, things have been a little easier. i'm not exactly sure why, but i think part of it is something my sister bethany said to me one afternoon: "it's not about you. it's about them." this may seem quite basic, but it was very helpful for me to hear. we were talking about the nature of mothering and how life can be very hard and even crazy at times (many times). i think that i've been trying to fit too many different things into my days that are for me. when you have certain expectations that don't get met, it's very frustrating. when you're a mother, things, almost always, will not go according to that plan.

i've had a perspective shift of sorts. i don't really expect to get things done - for me - throughout my day. yes, there are things that have to get done for the family - grocery shopping, other errands, laundry, and dishes (the latter two sometimes only when absolutely necessary - and that may or may not include getting things put away); however, the bulk of things revolve around what my kids need. they need a playmate. they need a teacher. they need a role model. mostly, they need a mother who is happy and who isn't always getting upset over not being able to do what she has planned.

to the untrained eye, it may seem like i get nothing done with my time. but many of you mothers out there already know, i know, and, most importantly, god knows that i am working to give my kids a happy, healthy environment with a mother who does not regret her choice to stay at home and take part in raising the next generation.

*for the record, i have never regretted my decision to stay at home with my kids. they give me great joy -- and occasionally cause to scream.