Halloween 2014

This picture is to remember Andy's fish. It was time to throw it away, but we are grateful for the memory!

Halloween night was incredibly cold! It was getting late, so we decided to put Jane to bed and I would stay to man the candy. Spencer took the others out and made it to our circle and two houses in the neighborhood diagonally across the street. It wasn't worth more than that. Also, there was no need to go farther. Pat, who lives on the corner, answered their door and emptied their whole plate of candy into the kids' bags. It was a big plate. Pat and Stephanie love our kids and they weren't getting much traffic (I think they probably get the most from our circle) because of how cold it was! It definitely made for a hefty haul. Part of which is still to be found on top of our refrigerator. 

As for costumes, a month or two before Halloween I asked the kids what they wanted to be. They each had something picked out and it worked perfectly. Everything came from our dress-up box. I really didn't want to do much being 39 weeks pregnant, so I couldn't have asked for anything easier!

Halloween

For the first time, ever, I think, I put more work into my costume than anybody else's.  A couple of days before Halloween I decided I could whip up a Wonder Woman costume pretty quickly.  It came together really well, but there was quite a bit of work involved.

I couldn't find a red t-shirt, so I decided to make one.  I am really happy with how it turned out and I have plans to make more t-shirts for myself since I wear them all the time!  I found the graphic online and tried my hand at a freezer paper stencil.  Amazing, I tell you.  Everything else came together without any trouble.  I am really happy with how it turned out.

Spencer went to work on Halloween dressed as The Doctor.  I don't think there was anyone who got the reference.  Especially because there is a doctor who used to work at the hospital who always wore bow ties.  Everybody kept asking if that is who he was.  Still fun.

Lilia is the only one I got pictures of!  She ended up with a few different costumes.  All of them very low maintenance.

I have to mention Anne's witch on the door.  Every time I saw her I laughed.  There is something about the mouth that makes me think of a piranha and paired with the pink eyes, just perfect.

Some neighbors took a group picture, which was so nice.  Spencer pulled out his zoot suit, which all the kids loved.  Benny was Anakin Skywalker, Andy was Optimus Prime (turned Jedi when some neighbors gave us a lightsaber!), Lilia started out as a cow girl, Anne was Rapunzel (wearing her sleeping hat), and Jane finished us off as the monkey.

It was really cold that night.  Janie, I think, was dressed the most appropriately.

Around this time Jane also started pulling herself to standing!

Costumes!!

We had our church trunk-or-treat on Friday and the kids were so excited!  They would not stop asking when we could leave for the church.

We all had a fun time with the chili night, costume parade, and trunk-or-treat.

 Here they are after they've scored all their loot.

Costume-wise, this has been our easiest Halloween, yet!

Benny requested a storm trooper costume for his birthday from Grandma and Grandpa this year and Grandma went ahead and googled "storm trooper costume."  If you ask him, he tells you that he's one of the good guys when they're dressed up as storm troopers.  I told him to choose Han Solo.

It was Andy's turn for the Optimus Prime costume and Benny so nicely asked if Andy wanted to borrow his mask to go with it. (The cheap-o mask that came with the costume got chucked sometime last year, I think, but Benny had gotten a much better mask with his birthday money.)

Without even hesitating, Lilia wanted to be Max in his wolf suit from Where the Wild Things Are.  The ears have seen better days and almost never stand up anymore.  But she looked great and was so excited to wear it!  She also did a great job of holding her tail the whole night so it didn't drag on the floor.

And Anne got to have her second year in the monkey suit.  It was a bit of a stretch to get her in and zipped all the way, but we did it.  And she had a great time hobbling around with all the big kids!  She was a big hit and you could tell how adorable she knew she was.  She had a big smile on her face the whole time - especially when she realized she was getting candy!  She was more than willing to say "treat!" when prompted.  And always ready with a thank you.  She looked so cute with her little treat bag draped over her arm.

It was a great time and they're all looking forward to Wednesday when they can go around the neighborhood.  Benny keeps asking if he and Andy can go around by themselves this year.  They sure are growing up!

My secret. (plus a Halloween picture)

Spencer left for Ada, OK early last Tuesday morning and he will come home late tonight (Tuesday). We just finished October, which had Spencer in Dallas during the week (so grateful he was able to come home on weekends!). It's been long. I'm tired. I'd like Spencer to be home full-time again. But I know we'll be fine. Starting January his rotations are in Tulsa again.

Of course, I could handle things better than I do while Spencer's gone, but I do think I handle things pretty well. This is something I've worked at long and hard over the 3+ years we've been here. I've gotten really good at just doing what needs to be done. I still have a long way to go, but I'm definitely moving in the right direction. (I don't think I've used paper plates once while he's been gone - I'm not against it, I've just been doing dishes every night, which is a big accomplishment for me.)

Sunday I took the kids to church on my own. While things weren't perfect, I reminded myself that they never are. Even when Spencer's here. The kids were very good. And the wonderful family that sits behind us took Anne a couple of times for a little bit. I even resurrected the quiet book this morning (it had been missing flowers) and was able to take that again. It was a definite help.

That evening, I talked briefly with a man in the ward who had called to ask about Spencer's home teaching for October (side note - Spencer's companion so wonderfully offered to take care of things on his own because he knew Spencer had such limited family time). This man, who had been sitting across the aisle from us, mentioned that I did a great job with all four kids on my own. I told him my secret:

Whenever the kids and I go to church without Spencer, I say a prayer in the parking lot before we go in.

I remember the first time I went to church with three kids by myself. That seemed like such a huge deal to me then (there are a lot of things that seemed like a huge deal in the past and no longer are. I'm trying, now, to not make such a huge deal of things because they will inevitably not be one). I'm grateful that as I was driving to church that morning I had the thought that I should pray with the kids (in addition to the long continuous prayer I had going in my head that whole morning) before going into church. So I did. I think I have done that each time since then.

I have been working recently on being better at prayer. I recently read this and I've also listened to this talk a few times since I heard it originally during General Conference this October. I highly recommend both. I've had a very nice time working at improving my prayers. I'm grateful for the things I'm learning.

Prayer has become so much more real to me than it ever has been. There are some days I feel as if I have a continuous prayer running the whole day. I have also had the privilege of having many prayers answered. What a wonderful gift it is to be able to have a direct connection with God. I have been more an more humbled the more I see how much God is watching out for me in very real ways.

Some time ago I had a conversation with a lady and we were talking about being far from family geographically. I mentioned that I was grateful for the opportunity to grow closer to Heavenly Father through prayer because when it's so easy to turn to family for all kinds of help, we miss out on the opportunity to pray in the same ways we would otherwise. After I said that, the lady responded and said that prayer was all well and good, but when it comes right down to it, there's nothing actually there and family can be there for you.

I don't remember my response, exactly, but I'm sure I politely changed the subject. I have had a lot of times where I've needed something and I haven't known exactly what. I am grateful for my loving Father in Heaven who knows, even when I don't, what I need and how I need it. I have prayed to specifically prove that woman wrong. And I have. I have felt immeasurable comfort when I have been alone and I have been able to continue on with what is required of me.

Monday morning I had all four kids fed (steel cut oats with strawberries and cinnamon - I didn't tell them I left the sugar out!), dressed, and in the van before 8a. To be fair, Benny and Andy fed and dressed themselves and buckled themselves in the van. Lilia fed herself and at least picked out her clothes. Anne, well, we're working on her. :) We dropped Benny off at school right at 8 (I hope it's not counted as a tardy). Straight from school I went to Sam's Club (for lots of produce) immediately followed by the grocery store for some non-bulk items. The kids and I were home by 9:30a. I felt great.

I marveled at how far I've come when I remembered that with only two kids I would do whatever I could to not go to the store until Spencer was home. Or I would ask a friend to sit with the kids. She only did a couple of times, but I asked more than a couple of times (remember, Lynsie?). I think I finally started learning - and living - the lesson that I've been trying to teach the kids for a while: doing work will help us get stronger.

I want to mention another thing that has really helped me lately. I short time ago I was anticipating this time with Spencer gone. I was thinking it was just going to be so hard and unbearable. Then I thought, what am I scared of? I'm not scared of our kids. They're ours. I know what to expect - pretty much! I'm the mom. Am I scared of work? I decided to not be scared of the work but to just be ready to be tired. Very tired. Frequently tired.

I also remembered something I thought I heard in General Conference April 2010. I even wrote about it in my journal the night after I heard it in conference, but when I went back and read the whole talk I said it came from, it wasn't there. Regardless, it's a lesson I'm so grateful to have learned and I consider it a huge lesson from the spirit. It was something I thought of during Elder Bruce Carlson's talk. The opposite of faith is fear. You cannot have faith and be afraid at the same time. Couple that with what I read in Richard Edgley's talk from last October: "Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism." Without having read that before, that is the conclusion I had come to. I don't want to choose to be afraid of our kids or of what I have to do when Spencer is gone. I want to trust that things are all going to work out for our good. I am trusting that God will not forget me and he will take care of me when I fulfill my end of the bargain.

And now, the kids on Halloween.

Benny: Optimus Prime, Andy: Max in his wolf suit, Lilia: Super Girl, Anne: Monkey

A lesson to be learned (and some Halloween)

I think I finally figured out the lesson that God is trying to teach me (lately. of course there is more than one!). That doesn't mean I've fully learned it and that problems will go away. But it does mean that I'm admitting to myself that other than my own choices, I don't have any control over anything. And even thinking about it more in these terms right now, it feels very liberating.

It feels like the boys have been waking up earlier and earlier lately. Benny has been wearing underwear to bed for quite some time and he's been doing a wonderful job of getting up whenever he needs to go to the bathroom. The trouble is, in the early morning hours, Benny will sometimes turn the bedroom light on when he goes. That, rather unfortunately, wakes Andy up. As soon as Andy wakes up, both boys think that it's day time and time to be up and play. Sometimes they stay in their room and play. Sometimes, like this morning, they make their way out into the family room and start playing (this has been around 5a or earlier). Spencer is just wonderful and this morning he got up 4 times to get them to go back to bed. I thought it was only twice - maybe three times. I was wrong.

This morning has been a bit of a hard one for me. Not because the boys are acting especially tired or bad, but because I have been letting their lack of sleep get to me. I want to figure out what I can do to fix the problem. There have been countless times I have wished I could make a child sleep. Our kids have always slept well at night. We have, however, struggled with daytime naps - particularly with Benny starting at age 2 and Andy recently.

I think the lesson I need to learn is that we are not in control. We may think that we are - and we may have moments where we feel like we are. Those are delusions. I just looked up "delusion" and it includes in the definition: "typically a symptom of mental disorder." That reminds me of the definition of insanity that I have heard often: "doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result." Apparently I suffer from insanity. Knowing is half the battle, right?

In all honesty, I believe we need to know our limits. I think it's part of having low expectations. It's not about doing nothing, but taking care of what we can. Just because I have no real control over my children does not mean I should cease to instruct and implement certain consequences for certain actions. Just because I had no control over Benny and Andy throwing sand in the sandbox at our ward playgroup today doesn't mean I shouldn't enforce the consequence of removing them from that situation if they do it one more time. They did, so I got them inside. I am grateful that they weren't throwing the dirt at anyone else - or even each other - but I don't want them getting into that habit or getting sand in their eyes or others' eyes.

I think it's also important to learn that even some of the things we do have control over need to be let go. I could choose to have control over keeping my house spotless. That is something I have chosen to let go - not completely. We don't live in filth. But if I tried to always be picking up after our kids or hounding them to pick up everything right when they're done playing with it, nobody in our house would be very happy. I'm learning to adapt to my situation in life.

These lessons have come bit by bit to me and I'm grateful. This year I almost decided to make a costume for Benny. I called my sister Bethany to ask her about the costume she made for her oldest daughter that (I'm guessing) they're 6th child wore for Halloween this year. After talking to her I decided to keep things simple and I bought Benny's costume (eight bucks at Dollar General). It was wonderful. He loved being a "good" Darth Vader. What really cracks me up about it all is that we almost had to talk him into wearing his costume to the ward Trunk-or-Treat. He wanted for a while to wear what he wears his Iron Man costume: a red long-sleeved t-shirt, his blue warm-up pants, red slippers, and Spencer's Gryffindor beanie pulled down over his face. He would have been just as happy wearing that. I'm glad I didn't worry and stress over making a costume for him when it would only have negatively impacted the whole family. Some things are just not worth taking control of.

I do find it ironic - and comforting - that of the three costumes for the kids this year, the one I didn't make won a prize at Spencer's school's Halloween party. That makes three years in a row for Benny. The Max wolf suit I made two years ago won two years in a row. This year he won "Scariest" costume. I tried explaining that to him and he kept telling me he wasn't scary. He's a good Darth Vader. So, although the "pressure's on" for next year, I'll probably buy the costumes we need for next year - or start sewing in June!

I wish you could hear Benny saying "cheeeeeeeese!"


I heard that Lilia was going to win "Cutest," but they wanted to spread out the winnings.
A very cute little lion won.
She sure was a cute little monkey and everybody got a kick out of her walking around everywhere. She loves her costume and wore it around the house a couple of afternoons looking pleased as punch!


Waiting for the judges to finish.


Oh, and I won best adult costume. I haven't dressed up for years but I thought the kids would get a kick out of it. They loved the silly braids.
At the trunk-or-treat the adults all knew who I was but I got blank stares or "What's with the hair?" from a bunch of the kids. I guess Pippi Longstocking is more dating than I thought...

halloween

i simplified this year. benny's a repeat of last year, andy's wearing pajamas with sweatpants underneath, and i made lilia's costume for benny's first halloween.



two very caring older brothers.



each checking out his own stash.



lilia made her debut this year in the monkey suit. i'm planning on her fitting into it next year as well. i pinned a ribbon on so people could tell she was a girl.



and max, the king of all wild things!
i'm going to brag for just a second and let you know this is a prize-winning costume two years running! last year and this year benny won the costume contest at the med school family function. he looks just like max - and actually requests that we call him max whenever he's in his wolf suit.
he didn't wear the crown trick-or-treating.

halloween options

well, there's been some debate over what benny should be for halloween. last year i made him a monkey costume that i really like. at first i didn't think he'd fit into it again, but that's not a problem (it must have been HUGE last year!). however, for caitlin's wedding i made fuchsia bow ties for all the little boys that matched the little girls' dresses. as i was making them, spencer said that would be benny's halloween costume - just the bow tie - and he would be a chippendales dancer. i'm still not exactly sure how i feel about that. but, we took some pictures of each.

what do you think?

the monkey?

or the chippendales dancer?

always ready to call a touchdown!

i just thought this picture was really cute.