31 December 2011
Christmas and Pictures
08 November 2011
My secret. (plus a Halloween picture)
Spencer left for Ada, OK early last Tuesday morning and he will come home late tonight (Tuesday). We just finished October, which had Spencer in Dallas during the week (so grateful he was able to come home on weekends!). It's been long. I'm tired. I'd like Spencer to be home full-time again. But I know we'll be fine. Starting January his rotations are in Tulsa again.
Of course, I could handle things better than I do while Spencer's gone, but I do think I handle things pretty well. This is something I've worked at long and hard over the 3+ years we've been here. I've gotten really good at just doing what needs to be done. I still have a long way to go, but I'm definitely moving in the right direction. (I don't think I've used paper plates once while he's been gone - I'm not against it, I've just been doing dishes every night, which is a big accomplishment for me.)
Sunday I took the kids to church on my own. While things weren't perfect, I reminded myself that they never are. Even when Spencer's here. The kids were very good. And the wonderful family that sits behind us took Anne a couple of times for a little bit. I even resurrected the quiet book this morning (it had been missing flowers) and was able to take that again. It was a definite help.
That evening, I talked briefly with a man in the ward who had called to ask about Spencer's home teaching for October (side note - Spencer's companion so wonderfully offered to take care of things on his own because he knew Spencer had such limited family time). This man, who had been sitting across the aisle from us, mentioned that I did a great job with all four kids on my own. I told him my secret:
Whenever the kids and I go to church without Spencer, I say a prayer in the parking lot before we go in.
I remember the first time I went to church with three kids by myself. That seemed like such a huge deal to me then (there are a lot of things that seemed like a huge deal in the past and no longer are. I'm trying, now, to not make such a huge deal of things because they will inevitably not be one). I'm grateful that as I was driving to church that morning I had the thought that I should pray with the kids (in addition to the long continuous prayer I had going in my head that whole morning) before going into church. So I did. I think I have done that each time since then.
I have been working recently on being better at prayer. I recently read this and I've also listened to this talk a few times since I heard it originally during General Conference this October. I highly recommend both. I've had a very nice time working at improving my prayers. I'm grateful for the things I'm learning.
Prayer has become so much more real to me than it ever has been. There are some days I feel as if I have a continuous prayer running the whole day. I have also had the privilege of having many prayers answered. What a wonderful gift it is to be able to have a direct connection with God. I have been more an more humbled the more I see how much God is watching out for me in very real ways.
Some time ago I had a conversation with a lady and we were talking about being far from family geographically. I mentioned that I was grateful for the opportunity to grow closer to Heavenly Father through prayer because when it's so easy to turn to family for all kinds of help, we miss out on the opportunity to pray in the same ways we would otherwise. After I said that, the lady responded and said that prayer was all well and good, but when it comes right down to it, there's nothing actually there and family can be there for you.
I don't remember my response, exactly, but I'm sure I politely changed the subject. I have had a lot of times where I've needed something and I haven't known exactly what. I am grateful for my loving Father in Heaven who knows, even when I don't, what I need and how I need it. I have prayed to specifically prove that woman wrong. And I have. I have felt immeasurable comfort when I have been alone and I have been able to continue on with what is required of me.
Monday morning I had all four kids fed (steel cut oats with strawberries and cinnamon - I didn't tell them I left the sugar out!), dressed, and in the van before 8a. To be fair, Benny and Andy fed and dressed themselves and buckled themselves in the van. Lilia fed herself and at least picked out her clothes. Anne, well, we're working on her. :) We dropped Benny off at school right at 8 (I hope it's not counted as a tardy). Straight from school I went to Sam's Club (for lots of produce) immediately followed by the grocery store for some non-bulk items. The kids and I were home by 9:30a. I felt great.
I marveled at how far I've come when I remembered that with only two kids I would do whatever I could to not go to the store until Spencer was home. Or I would ask a friend to sit with the kids. She only did a couple of times, but I asked more than a couple of times (remember, Lynsie?). I think I finally started learning - and living - the lesson that I've been trying to teach the kids for a while: doing work will help us get stronger.
I want to mention another thing that has really helped me lately. I short time ago I was anticipating this time with Spencer gone. I was thinking it was just going to be so hard and unbearable. Then I thought, what am I scared of? I'm not scared of our kids. They're ours. I know what to expect - pretty much! I'm the mom. Am I scared of work? I decided to not be scared of the work but to just be ready to be tired. Very tired. Frequently tired.
I also remembered something I thought I heard in General Conference April 2010. I even wrote about it in my journal the night after I heard it in conference, but when I went back and read the whole talk I said it came from, it wasn't there. Regardless, it's a lesson I'm so grateful to have learned and I consider it a huge lesson from the spirit. It was something I thought of during Elder Bruce Carlson's talk. The opposite of faith is fear. You cannot have faith and be afraid at the same time. Couple that with what I read in Richard Edgley's talk from last October: "Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism." Without having read that before, that is the conclusion I had come to. I don't want to choose to be afraid of our kids or of what I have to do when Spencer is gone. I want to trust that things are all going to work out for our good. I am trusting that God will not forget me and he will take care of me when I fulfill my end of the bargain.
And now, the kids on Halloween.
03 November 2011
What we eat
Well, a lot of people have asked to see what we eat. I thought I'd go ahead and just post that here for anyone who's interested.
By the way, I'm officially in the "I've lost over 30 pounds!" bracket - and I'm thrilled!
Breakfast. Two to three times a week I make steel cut oats. They are delicious. Much more healthy - and much better tasting - than rolled oats. If you try them out, start them the night before. Boil the water, turn the stove off when the water bubbles. When the bubbles stop, pour in the oats, cover and let sit over night (you can leave them on the warm burner). In the morning, heat them up to bubbling. I eat around one cup of cooked oats with a full chopped apple, 4 big strawberries, and a handful of blueberries with cinnamon. The kids have one or two of the above (sometimes with raisins as well) with cinnamon and about 1/2 tsp brown sugar. I try to remember to add flax seed to it. I love this breakfast. The kids love this breakfast. Lilia sometimes cries when we're not having this breakfast.
About once a week we have 100% whole wheat pancakes or waffles with ground flax seed added. We just use the recipe for buttermilk pancakes or waffles in the Better Homes and Gardens cookbook. We use almond milk now, but we still add lemon juice. Not exactly "buttermilk," but they're very good.
The other mornings I let the kids have rice chex, cheerios, or life and we have a lot of fruit. I usually cut up a bunch of strawberries, grapes, a kiwi (if we've got them), and an apple or two.
*I have a very similar bowl of fruit almost every night for "dessert." I usually save the raspberries for my night time bowl. Makes it a little more treat-like.
Yes, for lunch and dinner our main dish is salad. Every day. We love it. And you better believe that each of us has a salad that puts Elaine's to shame.
The most important thing for us to have is our big bag of salad veggies. I almost always have a big gallon bag of chopped veggies in the fridge (it's lasting fewer and fewer days since the kids now request a "big salad" from time to time). We usually use 1 to 2 crowns of broccoli, 1/2 head cauliflower, 3 bell peppers, 1 celery heart, 5 to 7 mushrooms (pretty big), a whole lot of baby carrots, 2 to 3 red apples and 1 green apple (I really enjoy the occasional bite of tart green apple, it's delicious) Yes, I know apples aren't a vegetable (although our kids think so because they're in the veggie bag!), but I really like the taste and the crunch in a salad. This usually fills up our big mixing bowl. There have been a few times that I have out-done myself and have had to switch over to our really big bowl in order to get everything mixed up. I think it's about time for me to invest in some kind of food chopper because I do all of this by hand.
For my lunch and dinner, I get a decent-sized salad bowl and fill it up with mixed salad greens and baby spinach (we get a 1-pound tub of each from Sam's Club) and cut it up so it's easier to eat. Then I dish out a generous portion of my veggies on top. Now, a lot of you might find it boring to eat a big salad for lunch and dinner every day. There are, however, some things you can do to mix things up. Tomatoes, cucumbers, beans (any kind, really), avocados, sunflower seeds, cashews, and whole wheat croutons are some of the things that I will mix up - strawberries are delicious, also. Different combinations can really give you a different taste. I used to include cucumbers in our "salad veggies," but once we kept getting a whole bunch of water at the bottom of our bag and until I noticed the small pieces of dark green peel, I didn't realize the cucumbers were liquifying. It still tasted fine, but I didn't want to risk it, so now I often add 1/2 a cucumber on top of everything else. Also, we enjoy salad dressings. If you look in our fridge, it looks like we probably have stock in Brianna's dressings. We have really enjoyed almost all that we've tried. I have been putting less and less dressing on my salads, though. Mostly it's a way to moisten things up a bit for me.
*I have only added kale once to a salad, but I wish I got it more often to add. It's delicious and gives a kind-of lemony taste. I need to remember more often how much I enjoyed it.
Now the other dishes.
Bean Burritos - just wrapped up at the table and not baked. Black beans and refried beans w/ olives, tomatoes, etc.
Veggie stir fry - cabbage, onions, zucchini, sometimes eggplant, bell peppers, mushrooms, pineapple tidbits with the juice, julienne carrots (really taste so much better than chopped), sometimes tofu. Can flavor with rice vinegar, Mrs. Dash, whatever you like.
We have used a frozen bag of stir fry before, but I don't use the sauce. I added bell peppers and mushrooms to freshen it up a little bit. We've gotten spoiled with so many fresh vegetables, it just wasn't quite as good.
Quinoa salad - a delicious recipe can be found here. We don't like as much grapefruit as it calls for. The last time we made it we did only about 1/2 of one. I probably would have liked it better with 3/4 to a full grapefruit. Spencer was just fine with half.
The quinoa salad we do most often, though, is just one cup of quinoa with a full cucumber, full bell pepper, one can drained and rinsed black beans, and one can drained corn.
Pasta - whole wheat pasta with a dressed up spaghetti sauce. I saute zucchini, onion, peppers, yellow squash, and sometimes broccoli with garlic and spices. I add a can of (or fresh) diced tomatoes and a jar of spaghetti sauce (Classico brand Tomato and Basil doesn't have any sugar, if you're interested).
Pasta Prima Vera - saute broccoli, cauliflower, and bell peppers. Add toward the end some fresh tomatoes and some frozen peas. Before I started avoiding dairy more I would grate a whole bunch of parmesan cheese on top (after tomatoes but before peas - peas go in at the very end) and add some milk to make it more creamy. I would add all of that to the cooked whole wheat pasta onto which I had already poured a jar of alfredo sauce. Without dairy, dress your veggies the way you like. Spencer used rice vinegar and Mrs. Dash when he did it (we're working on branching out a little more :)).
Roasted vegetables - potatoes, sweet potatoes, onions, celery, and sometimes carrots. Some salt and pepper to taste with water in the bottom of the pan (you can use chicken broth or add a bouillon cube if you want). Bake, covered, at 425 for 30-45 minutes (or however long your oven takes).
Sweet Potato Quesadillas (one of my favorites!!) - Find the recipe here. I often do sauteed mushrooms as well as fresh. We use whole wheat tortillas - and I don't put any cheese on at all. They don't stick together, but the sweet potatoes are really good with the crispy tortilla. Also, I don't bake them like the recipe says. I just put them on the griddle and brown both sides of the tortilla until crispy (one tortilla folded in half). Also, I use a lot more filling than in the picture. The kids eat these without complaint. Lilia, who I like to call "the finisher" would eat as many of these as we gave her. She gets so excited when I tell her these are on the menu. She even asked for a wedge that was on my plate and from which I was about to take a bite!
Vegetable Enchiladas - Recipe here. My sister Bethany sent me this one. It calls for 3 quarts of spinach. That's about 1 full pound (it shrinks a lot). I didn't look at the recipe closely enough and didn't have as much spinach as we needed (oh, I had a full pound in the fridge, but I couldn't use it all and still have enough for our salads!). I ended up adding bell pepper and mushrooms to the veggie mix. The mushrooms definitely gave it a different flavor from your traditional enchiladas, but they were so good! The kids all loved these and would probably have cleaned out the 9x13 if we hadn't given them fruit as well! I used the 9x13 variation offered at the end of the recipe and also used a full can of refried beans and a full can of black beans. I might add a second can of one next time I make it. It felt a little lacking to me that way. Also, I made half with the cheese and half without. I think I'll leave it off completely next time.
Beans - I guess it's a bean chili of sorts. Spencer decided one day to throw some black beans (drained and rinsed - is there any other way?), pinto beans, and garbanzo beans together in a pot and added some V8 to it. Since then we've upgraded and start with some garlic with oregano, basil, cilantro, and cumin with the juice and then add the beans and heat through. Occasionally, because I don't like that they add sugar to V8 (isn't the point to have just vegetables?!), we blend up some fresh tomatoes and celery. This is another one the kids just love! I made this just last night and used two cans of each kind of beans thinking we'd have plenty of leftovers for dinner another night. No such luck. With only one fairly small portion for me, the kids devoured it all!!
*We've added kale to this before and I thought it was very good. I think spinach would also be delicious.
Corn - The kids love corn on the cob so we'll just have that with fruit on the side and usually a green salad for the kids as well.
Split pea soup - We haven't had this one yet, but a wonderful friend just sent me home with a bad of dried split peas. If I remember right, just put a bag of split peas, lots of chopped carrots, celery, and onion in your crockpot, cover with water, and cook all day stirring occasionally. I'm looking forward to this one.
When I make my menu for the week, I usually only use three to four dishes because we usually end up with enough leftovers for the other nights. That way we don't cycle through everything too often and the kids don't get tired of anything. Sometimes it can be two weeks before we have another dish again.
And there you have it. I will add a note on how we handle things with our kids. My dad has always said that kids won't let themselves starve. Now, of course, there are exceptions with real medical conditions, but we're talking the average kid. Spencer and I have believed this and we work with that. We know that what our kids eat has to come from us in the first place. We have decided that we're not going to feed our kids certain things. There may have been some nights that a kid or two did not want to eat what was offered to them for dinner. When they woke up in the morning there were leftovers waiting for them at their place at the table. They may have seen the leftovers for lunch, even (I won't go into details here, but if you're interested, ask me some time about Lilia's piece of broccoli from lunch today and how it might have become her dinner and bedtime snack). But, eventually, they eat the food we give them. Sometimes the boys will tell me that they don't like their vegetables, but they eat them because they know that vegetables are good for them. I get so happy when I hear that. I like it even more when I hear "I like vegetables now!" (Believe it or not, I do hear that every once-in-a-while!)
I'm not exactly sure what did it, but I think our kids are starting to find out that Spencer and I are more stubborn than they are. But, mostly, I really think they're starting to discover how good these foods really are!
*If you have any recipes you think I would like, please share! I would love to try some new things.
And if you try any of these, let me know how you like them.
posted by
faith
at
10:55 PM
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comments
27 October 2011
Eating to live
I've had ideas for this post floating around in my mind for a while. It's something I've wanted to share and I think it's time. I just hope it's coherent.
Just over three years ago my mom bought a book for me and all of my siblings. The book is called Eat to Live. At that point in time I was not at all ready to change my eating habits. And I really wasn't interested in a diet. We had just moved to Tulsa, Andy was about 6 months old, and, although I should have, I didn't think there was anything drastic I needed to change. After all, there are times and seasons for everything and it was my time to be carrying baby weight. (4 kids in 4 1/2 years can do that to you.) And, thankfully, I hide my weight pretty well. Or so I thought. It's possible that's not as true as I would like to have believed.
Fast forward to early February of this year. Anne was born. My mom came to visit. My parents have been eating quite healthy for some time, but when my mom was here she made a ton of casseroles and other frozen dinners. It was wonderful. And right in line with how we had always been eating. One thing my mom got for herself while she was here was a bunch of Sobe Life Waters. They were quite tasty. When she left there were about a half dozen left over and she wasn't going to take them on her flight home. She suggested I save them for when I was ready for a healthier treat and wanted to stay away from ice cream but still have something that tastes good. Honestly, I never thought I would get to that point.
The day after my mom left a book came in the mail. My sister Bethany sent my mom a copy of Michael Pollan's Food Rules. Unfortunately, because of all the snow we got that week, deliveries were delayed. Bethany told me to go ahead and keep it - also that I should read it. That became another healthy-eating book that was going to sit on our book shelf and collect dust.
Fast forward, again, to sometime in the spring. Spencer had been watching portion size for some time. Somewhere around August 2010 he decided that he should no longer be eating like a college athlete and he has been doing very well and was looking much healthier. I started feeling like I wanted to "fit" with Spencer. He was a very good example to me of what could be done. Starting around July (or late June) I decided to start eating smaller portions. I didn't change so much what we were eating because I thought it was still pretty healthy. I just needed to eat less. And then the right switch flipped. I knew I wasn't really eating how I should and I needed to change that. Sometime in the second week of July I read Food Rules. This book is quite short and contains 64 rules about how we should eat food. Some of these include eat food, shop on the peripheries of the store, don't eat anything with ingredients your grandmother wouldn't understand, etc. This was a good start for us.
And then came the big change. And it was only a day or two after I finished the book. I read Dr. Joel Fuhrman's Eat to Live. Honestly, this book has been a life changer for all of us. This book contains the benefits of eating mainly a whole plant food diet. He doesn't say you can't ever eat any meat or dairy, but he cites the studies (The China Study in particular) that show the negative effects of eating too much meat and dairy: cancers, heart disease, diabetes, etc. It's amazing what you can avoid by eating the right things. It's not just about avoiding meat and dairy. It's about getting the right protection for our bodies from vegetables, fruits, seeds, nuts, and whole grains. I started to change how I ate immediately. Then I started changing what we were all eating. Spencer, wonderful man that he is, didn't complain about the changes I was making. He knew that he could get something else to eat if he really wanted it. I told him that I really wanted him to read this book after I was finished. I wanted us to be on the same page. This kids have complained at times but we have been able to tell them why we are feeding them the way we are. We want to give them every advantage we can and keep them healthy. They are now so much better at eating all the vegetables we give them. Benny and Andy have even said at different times: "I don't like vegetables, but I eat them because I know they're good for me." And just last night Andy said, "I love vegetables!" Hearing both of those things make me so happy!
I started writing this a couple of weeks ago, and honestly, I rarely hear complaining about all the vegetables they get on their plates. Lilia even knows to just eat what she's given!
I want to point out that per calorie there is more protein in green leafy vegetables than meat. Also, more calcium per calorie than cow's milk. We are not lacking for needed nutrients. Dr. Fuhrman points out that there is no way the biggest animals (elephant, giraffe, gorilla) could get so big on a vegetable and fruit diet if there were not adequate protein.
When my sister Eden was working full-time at BYU she took advantage of getting her blood-work done and was amazed at the change after she had been eating more of a whole plant food diet. You can see her results here. I'm not sure how long she had been eating better then, but the improvement in her blood-work is amazing!
After I read Eat to Live, I re-read the Word of Wisdom that was given to Joseph Smith in 1833. The Word of Wisdom is a modern-day revelation on what we should eat (fruits in their seasons, herbs, grains) and from what we should abstain (wine, alcohol, tea, coffee, cigarettes, drugs). Since reading Dr. Fuhrman's book, I have been so grateful to have found something to help me to live the Word of Wisdom better than I did before. I feel so much healthier and I feel like Spencer and I are able to help our kids in ways I never thought about. It really has been a blessing to all of us.
Now I am reading Dr. Fuhrman's Disease-Proof Your Child. I highly recommend it. I'm not through it yet, but it is getting me more and more motivated to feed our kids well.
One of the most surprising feelings I've had in this whole process is a wonderful sense of control. I posted some time ago about discovering a lack of control. I wrote: "other than my own choices, I don't have control over anything." (See that whole post here.) I think my view of control is beginning to shift. I still remind myself that there are so many things I cannot control, but the overriding feeling these days is that I am in control of myself. Instead of thinking I only have control over myself, I think: I get to control who I am. I get to make choices that will determine the kind of person I become. I am choosing now to no longer be a slave to my appetites. By being in control of what goes into my body, I have gained more of a sense of power. I am choosing to take care of my body in the way God wants me to. It's a wonderful feeling to know that the choices I am making are going to impact me the rest of my life. And it's a nice feeling to have that sense of control visualized when I walk past a mirror.
I have gone through waves of focusing more on the weight I'm losing and just being grateful I'm being more healthy (even if the weight-loss slows down). I will tell you, though, that since I really started losing weight I have lost 29 pounds! 21 of those pounds have been since my birthday on 21 July. I am fitting into clothes that I haven't for a long time. It has been wonderful in a lot of ways. I've even started running. I've never been one to love running. Getting out and walking has been a major feat for me at times. But, after I lost the first 10-15 pounds, I started having more energy and I decided that I should be exercising to add that element of health. And if you're interested in another life-changing book, go pick up Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. I started with 2 miles and I'm now running over 4.
What I really love about these changes is that it's about a lifestyle. Spencer and I feel different. We want to eat better because it feels better. I love that Spencer was mistaken for a vegetarian his first week in Dallas this month. No, we are not vegetarians or vegans. We just eat mainly a whole plant food diet. It's not about the numbers. The fact is there are many people with a fast metabolism and can maintain a low weight even though they eat horribly. That is not a great way to live and it won't prevent illness in the future. It doesn't matter what size you are. By eating the foods we should, we are protecting ourselves from future problems.
If you interested in what we've been eating, let me know.
And now the current "after" picture.
I only wish I had a picture of Spencer. He looks fantastic!!
21 October 2011
Overheard x3
Benny (in a prayer): We are so grateful that Anne is such a happy cute girl. And we don't like it when she is sad.
Andy (after flying home to or from Raleigh to visit Spencer's parents in August and with real distress in his voice): Mommy, I don't talk like this!!
Lilia (to Anne): Okay, Little Baby, I'm going to change your diaper!
Bonus (from some time ago. Spencer and I were in the family room and we could hear Benny and Andy at the kitchen table - Benny was the voice for the cereal.):
Andy: I'm going to eat you!
Benny: No! That hurts me!
A: You have to stay in my tummy because you're food.
B: We don't want to be eaten!
A: Om nom nom
B: I don't want to be eaten!
A: Yes, you do!
B: Ow, ow, ow, ow!
A: You have to be eaten!
B: No!
A: Yes, you have to be in my tummy.
B: But we don't want to. We want to be alive!
A: But you have to be dead!
A: But you died in my tummy!
B: No, we are alive!
A: But you closed your eyes!
13 October 2011
Excuse my soapbox.
"It'll pay off later."
"Just wait and it will all be worth it."
I have heard any number of variations of the above countless times. Frankly, I'm a little sick of it.
Spencer and I started medical school on purpose. We both knew that this is the direction we needed to go. That God wanted us to go. This road is not for everyone. And, yes, I believe (as others who warned us before we started) that if you are not absolutely certain that you should go to medical school (or that your spouse should go), you really shouldn't. However, I also believe that no road is for everyone (except for that of the gospel of Jesus Chris of Latter-day Saints - you can find more about that here and here.). Not everyone should do the same thing with their life. We can't all be doctors. We can't all be mothers. We can't all be mechanics. You get the point.
When we first moved here for Spencer to go to school I was caught in the trap of thinking that this huge sacrifice we were making would all be worth it some day. I worked at surviving each day with our boys until Spencer came home each night. If I could just make it until after the next test: physiology, pharmacology, anatomy, neuroanatomy - oh, how not fun neuroanatomy was. If I could just make it until Sunday, Thanksgiving, Christmas break, (our last ever) Summer break. It wasn't fun to live like that. Sure, there were fun times. I did take a lot of pictures then and I just love all that time I had with the boys. I'm so glad I can look back on it.
I started following a doctor wives blog. It seemed like a safe haven to associate with others going through the same things and to help each other through some hard times. There were definitely some useful things shared there, but I began to realize that it wasn't really a place to be uplifted and helped through the hard times. It started to seem more and more like a place to wallow in misery and for others to either commiserate with you or tell you how what they were experiencing was worse. In all reality, it probably wasn't as bad as I'm describing it, but I didn't feel like it was all that uplifting and I stopped following.
Through other experiences I was having I learned that no matter who you are and what you're experiencing, if you are working hard to live your life in a way that is pleasing to God, you will learn the lessons needed to draw closer to Christ. I was so grateful for this revelation. It gave me a greater understanding of what it means to be brothers and sisters in the gospel. It's not just a common ground for people in the same church; this was something that can truly help me connect with others who are working to always be better and to overcome the natural man.
Everyone experiences challenges. We're supposed to. If the things we're doing aren't challenging, we cannot grow in the ways we need to. And it's okay for things to be hard. And it's okay to complain. Nowhere in the scriptures does it say we can't complain. Yes, we are instructed to put things into perspective, but I can't recall a place where Christ says that we haven't had it as bad as He did, so we have no room to talk. The point is that Christ can truly empathize with whatever it is we are experiencing because He understands how hard it is. If we are truly working to become like Christ, it is for us to respond in a similar way. It's not about one-upping others with how hard our lives are and bemoaning the fact that "no one" can understand unless he/she has been through it. It's about - even if what we have experienced seems "harder" - understanding and offering support to others in hard situations.
My mom reminded me recently of something Elder Neal A. Maxwell said in a BYU devotional years ago: "We must remember that, while the Lord reminded the Prophet Joseph Smith that he had not yet suffered as Job, only the Lord can compare crosses!" (Find the whole speech here.)
This may seem to have ended up in a different place than I began. I think it's connected. If we live our lives complaining about whatever is going on, we're never going to get to the point that "it's all worth it." Quite frankly, if we're living right, there will always be challenges and struggles. That's the only way to become like our Savior. I don't want to sound trite, but I love what Professor Harold Hill says in The Music Man: "You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you've collected a lot of empty yesterdays." That was quoted by President Thomas S. Monson who went on to say: "My brothers and sisters, there is no tomorrow to remember if we don't do something today" (Read his whole speech here.).
I am working hard to enjoy where we are in life. Yes, I know we're in the middle of a long road toward becoming a doctor; we are, however, well on our way in our life as a couple, as a family, and as individuals. I am working to make each day my reward for the hard work I continue to do. I am happy. Life is hard and life is wonderful.
End rant.
Honestly, though, who couldn't enjoy life every day with these wonderful kids?
posted by
faith
at
9:18 PM
9
comments
Labels: journal, med school
01 October 2011
First run together
Yesterday Benny told us that his P.E. teacher took his class to the track to run. He told us that he won. From how he described it, he was only one or two who ran the whole way. One of those things I'm sure we'll never know.
This morning Spencer and I had plenty of time to get our runs in since General Conference didn't start until 11a here. Before I left I asked Benny if he would like to go running with me after I got back from my run. I showed him on MapMyRun.com where we would go around the neighborhood for a mile.
After I got back from my run, Benny, Andy, and Lilia were playing at our neighbor's house. I went over to ask Benny if he wanted to go. He wanted to stay and play, but Andy said that he would like to go. We came home and got him changed out of his long-sleeved shirt and his long pants (at the first hint of fall weather - read: below 90 degrees - he starts covering up!) to a bit more appropriate attire.
We ended up going about .6 miles and Andy jogged the whole way. It took us just over 10 minutes. We talked a lot of the time about how hard we were working and about how even though we get tired, if we keep going, we will get stronger and it will get easier. He is sure working at working hard. It's great to see!
Apparently he enjoyed going out because tonight at dinner Andy asked if he could go running again with me tomorrow. I reminded him we don't do that on Sundays, but he can again next Saturday. I am really grateful Spencer can come home on weekends this month (he'll be in Dallas during the week for his rotation down there). It will really help things be easier!
posted by
faith
at
9:11 PM
6
comments
28 August 2011
Too long
Tonight I opened my cello case. Don't ask the last time I did that. I wouldn't be able to tell you with much accuracy the last time. Thankfully I can say I have opened it more than twice (definitely more than three time including tonight) since we have moved here. I was asked a couple of Sundays ago if I would play my cello along with a primary-aged girl playing the violin for a number in the primary program in September. I agreed, knowing that I should brush up a little bit before it came time to practice with the violinist because it's beneficial if the calluses aren't raw when playing in front of people.
On our way home from church today Benny asked why I don't play the cello any more. I don't know if he heard me talking to Spencer about playing or if it just popped into his head (it has done before). I asked if he'd like me to play it today and he said yes.
After story time tonight I remembered about that, so instead of singing to the kids tonight, I played (and sang just a little). When I opened the case, I let out the my first gasp. All of the strings were loose! (but thankfully the bridge was in place) I have never liked tuning, though, and with all the strings loose, this will take some doing. I get started - slowly - and my second gasp let out when my A string snapped. What a bummer. Thankfully I tuned the rest and was able to play all of the songs the kids wanted by going into higher positions. (Now I just have to buy a new A string - and probably a whole set of strings because I have no spares.)
It was fun to play again. Every time I play I want to more often; although I know it is not really my time or season for regular practice/playing. Tonight (and many other times) I have been incredibly grateful that so much of my cello ability comes naturally. I'm not great, but I can play. Honestly, through my whole life, I have never done all that much practicing of the cello. Sure I've had my ups and downs, but I have relied so much on my natural ability. Because of that I have never gotten much into music theory. There's a lot I know from learning to play the piano growing up, but there is a whole world out there I have barely touched. I remember sitting through a cello workshop when I was in high school by my cello teacher (I took lessons from a very talented woman who plays the cello for a living - as does her husband). There was so much I didn't know that very small (and young) cellists did. At the time I was quite self-conscious about it. I am somewhat amazed at how well I got by.
I decided to play the cello in 6th grade on a whim. I had originally decided on the violin because my mom owned one. We had just moved to a new area of town and we all attended new schools. The only girl I had really met my first day happened to be in my orchestra class. She played cello. There were so many students who had signed up for violin that I told the teacher I was going to switch to cello. In reality, I switched so I would have someone with whom I could talk. Quite lame, but typical "Junior High Faith." And there it began. I remember being told early on that I had a lot of natural ability. I kept hearing that as I grew up. I think it was because of that that I didn't practice much. I relied so much on my ability. That carried me through quite a bit. I did work harder when taking private lessons, but never as much as I could have. I remember, though, the last time I pulled my cello out here I played a piece for Spencer that I had played at a recital during high school. My response after playing: "I used to be good!"
Some months ago my mom told me about a study that had been done with children. Two different groups of children. Each group was given something to complete - a puzzle of some sort. After completion, one group was met with praise such as "You're so good at that!" Praise of natural ability. The other group was met with praise of their hard work. With the challenges that came following the first, the second group is the one that completed it faster and with more energy. The point was that they felt like they had accomplished something. They gained mastery over something difficult. The first group didn't worry about improving anything because why should they? They had the gift.
Since this conversation with my mom, I have changed the way I talk to our kids. I feel like our kids are very bright (most moms do, I imagine). I used to praise natural ability all the time. Now, I try to mention "work" somewhere in there: "Good work!" "You worked hard on that!" "That was a lot of work you just did!" etc. I really feel like it's making a difference in how the kids respond. I'm noticing much more in Benny and I'm grateful for that. Especially being in school now, I don't want him to be afraid of doing anything that takes more effort.
I didn't make the connection until just this evening that this has been the problem with my cello skills. I have always relied on my natural ability. The times that I have put forth the effort to practice and master certain pieces or passages, I have loved it. But I have let myself rely so much on the other as good enough. And now it is not my time or season to devote much of my life to playing the cello. Maybe some day I'll have a chance to take lessons again. For now, though, my goal is to take it out of the case more often. The kids enjoy it and so do I. And so does Spencer. And the more I use it the greater the chance for the strings to stay in place. And let me tell you, that may be enough motivation because I hate having a toothless cello.
posted by
faith
at
7:36 PM
7
comments
23 August 2011
First Day of School
04 August 2011
Birthday catch-up: Benny (and Faith)
17 July Benny turned 5! What a great five years it has been. We decided a while back that this would be Benny's first "friend" party. We probably won't do a friend party every year, but we thought 5 was a good year to start. Benny is such a low-maintenance kid. He'll have his ideas for how he wants things, but if it's not something that's going to work, I can usually offer an alternative and he's just as happy with that. Benny is very matter-of-fact and if I explain things to him, he gets it. That definitely works for me!
For his party, Benny really wanted a piñata. Whenever we would go to Target and he would see the Lightning McQueen piñata he would request that for his birthday. I told him I didn't know if that would work out. Then, when we would go to the grocery store and he saw a donkey piñata - or any other kind they had - he would say, "Maybe I could have that one." I told him we'd see. Some months back I had taken Benny to a birthday party and my friend Tara had made a piñata for her son. So, Spencer and I got to work. We paper machéd a balloon and did a simple round piñata with red tissue paper and a picture of Lightning McQueen and his 95 (Benny requested that specifically when talking of piñatas - the one we made was a surprise). I did the first layer of the paper maché and the next couple of nights Spencer took it as his personal challenge. He already had visions going through his head for every successive birthday party we ever host. The birthday piñata will get progressively harder the older the birthday boy/girl gets. I think it's been decided that at age 18 they'll be wielding a 2x4 with nails sticking out. It's going to be intense. I don't think the goodies will get much better, though. I guess we'll see.
Benny had a great time at his party. We started off decorating brown lunch bags (in which to put collected candy from the piñata). All the kids went swimming in our blow-up pool. That didn't last very long, so they played with balloons and had a great time. There was more swimming, pizza for lunch, the balloon popping relay that turned into taking turns putting the balloon on the grass and then sitting on it (our little chairs were too big for most the kids to sit on the balloon on the chair), the piñata, and cake with homemade ice cream. Benny requested mint brownie and Spencer was happy to oblige - again! Spencer found a great combination of vanilla and mint and perfected the soft and chewy, frozen homemade brownie. Delicious!
Everyone had a great time! For our first "friend" party, I think it went off pretty well. Very low-key and we all had fun.
Oh, and I can't forget the cake. Benny wanted a 'Y' cake. Spencer made the cake and did the frosting and I did the decorating - free-hand! Spencer said he wants his birthday cake next year to be the same. I must have done a good job.
A note about Benny:
Benny is such a wonderful boy and a great big brother. He loves his brother and sisters and is always helping them and me. Just tonight he said that at bed time he would do all the work so that I could play. It was very sweet. Benny is so smart. He remembers just about everything I teach him and will bring things up that I haven't mentioned in weeks like he just heard it. I have been using Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons and we just did lesson 49 today. He has picked it all up so well and it takes us very little time to get through each lesson because he knows it all. I love to see him figuring it out. I have always loves that Benny wants to understand things. He never had a "Why?" phase. Benny's question has always been, "What does {you name it} mean?" I love this question because everything has a meaning and I enjoy being able to share that. One thing that I really love about Benny is his love of family. He really loves us all and loves for everybody to have a part in things. He says that we're going to have two more kids in our family. I asked him why and he said because we have two more seats in our car. I told him that we could maybe get a bigger car. He started to think about that. A few weeks ago, when Benny said this, at one point he got up to 9 or 10 kids. He talks about how some day he will get married. After his mission, though. He asked me the other day why missionaries aren't married yet. I have loved so much the time so far that I have had to be Benny's mom. I know he'll do great when he starts Kindergarten in 18 days!!! I can't believe it's that close, but we're all excited. My only regret is that it is full-day. However, I know that God, in his perfect knowledge of how things should be, placed us here and being here means full-day Kindergarten. We'll all survive and I know that Benny will have a wonderful experience. I'm looking forward to it.
Some pictures.
He actually didn't want any ice cream that day. I was very surprised. But the cake was very good!
For my birthday dessert on Sunday, Spencer made a strawberry shortcake from scratch. It was delicious! Spencer is great in so many ways and I love that he enjoys cooking and that he's good at it! We plan to some day enjoy a cooking class together.
I enjoyed a wonderful birthday! And, every once-in-a-while, I still enjoy hearing one of the kids burst into a spontaneous "Happy Birthday, Mom!" Sometimes I even get parts of the song sung to me. It's very fun.
posted by
faith
at
8:52 PM
5
comments
03 August 2011
Birthday catch-up: Lilia
We celebrated Lilia's 2nd birthday 15 June. Lilia has been so fun to watch grow up. She will not at all be left behind by her brothers if at all possible. And she does a pretty good job of keeping up. She is learning more and more every day. At her two-year check-up at the doctor, she was able to turn the otoscope on and off, which is no mean feat for a 2-year-old. The doctor said when that happens at that age, she makes a note of it in the chart. We always knew Lilia is one smart cookie! A couple of weeks ago Spencer was in a board review (for Step 2, which he just took yesterday) given by a pediatrician. Apparently 2-year-olds should be saying 2- to 3-word sentences and be understood roughly 50% of the time. Lilia regularly strings 4- and 5-word sentences together and is quite intelligible. Part of that may be that I am her mom, but I think others can usually understand her pretty well.
Some pictures.
We recently discovered that this lady's mother and I share a birthday. What a fun coincidence!
posted by
faith
at
8:03 PM
2
comments
14 July 2011
Overheard
Andy: Some day my wife and I will get married!! And Benny and Lilia, too!
Benny: Maybe I will have 8 or 7 kids.
Andy: Maybe I will have 3 kids.
posted by
faith
at
8:14 PM
4
comments
Labels: overheard
Overheard
Andy (yelling from his bed to Benny who was in the bathroom): Benny?! Benny?!
Benny: Whaaat?!
Andy: I love you!!
Benny: I love you, too!!
Andy: I love you more!!
Benny: I love you most!! (Benny then returns to their room to go to sleep for the night.)
posted by
faith
at
8:06 PM
4
comments
Labels: overheard
01 July 2011
Big Day


posted by
spencer
at
7:27 AM
3
comments
20 June 2011
17 June 2011
Family Picture
Thanks to Grant and Becky, we get this great family picture from their reception! Thanks, you two! We love it.
posted by
faith
at
4:06 PM
7
comments
Labels: family photo
11 June 2011
Pictures

