Too long

Tonight I opened my cello case. Don't ask the last time I did that. I wouldn't be able to tell you with much accuracy the last time. Thankfully I can say I have opened it more than twice (definitely more than three time including tonight) since we have moved here. I was asked a couple of Sundays ago if I would play my cello along with a primary-aged girl playing the violin for a number in the primary program in September. I agreed, knowing that I should brush up a little bit before it came time to practice with the violinist because it's beneficial if the calluses aren't raw when playing in front of people.

On our way home from church today Benny asked why I don't play the cello any more. I don't know if he heard me talking to Spencer about playing or if it just popped into his head (it has done before). I asked if he'd like me to play it today and he said yes.

After story time tonight I remembered about that, so instead of singing to the kids tonight, I played (and sang just a little). When I opened the case, I let out the my first gasp. All of the strings were loose! (but thankfully the bridge was in place) I have never liked tuning, though, and with all the strings loose, this will take some doing. I get started - slowly - and my second gasp let out when my A string snapped. What a bummer. Thankfully I tuned the rest and was able to play all of the songs the kids wanted by going into higher positions. (Now I just have to buy a new A string - and probably a whole set of strings because I have no spares.)

It was fun to play again. Every time I play I want to more often; although I know it is not really my time or season for regular practice/playing. Tonight (and many other times) I have been incredibly grateful that so much of my cello ability comes naturally. I'm not great, but I can play. Honestly, through my whole life, I have never done all that much practicing of the cello. Sure I've had my ups and downs, but I have relied so much on my natural ability. Because of that I have never gotten much into music theory. There's a lot I know from learning to play the piano growing up, but there is a whole world out there I have barely touched. I remember sitting through a cello workshop when I was in high school by my cello teacher (I took lessons from a very talented woman who plays the cello for a living - as does her husband). There was so much I didn't know that very small (and young) cellists did. At the time I was quite self-conscious about it. I am somewhat amazed at how well I got by.

I decided to play the cello in 6th grade on a whim. I had originally decided on the violin because my mom owned one. We had just moved to a new area of town and we all attended new schools. The only girl I had really met my first day happened to be in my orchestra class. She played cello. There were so many students who had signed up for violin that I told the teacher I was going to switch to cello. In reality, I switched so I would have someone with whom I could talk. Quite lame, but typical "Junior High Faith." And there it began. I remember being told early on that I had a lot of natural ability. I kept hearing that as I grew up. I think it was because of that that I didn't practice much. I relied so much on my ability. That carried me through quite a bit. I did work harder when taking private lessons, but never as much as I could have. I remember, though, the last time I pulled my cello out here I played a piece for Spencer that I had played at a recital during high school. My response after playing: "I used to be good!"

Some months ago my mom told me about a study that had been done with children. Two different groups of children. Each group was given something to complete - a puzzle of some sort. After completion, one group was met with praise such as "You're so good at that!" Praise of natural ability. The other group was met with praise of their hard work. With the challenges that came following the first, the second group is the one that completed it faster and with more energy. The point was that they felt like they had accomplished something. They gained mastery over something difficult. The first group didn't worry about improving anything because why should they? They had the gift.

Since this conversation with my mom, I have changed the way I talk to our kids. I feel like our kids are very bright (most moms do, I imagine). I used to praise natural ability all the time. Now, I try to mention "work" somewhere in there: "Good work!" "You worked hard on that!" "That was a lot of work you just did!" etc. I really feel like it's making a difference in how the kids respond. I'm noticing much more in Benny and I'm grateful for that. Especially being in school now, I don't want him to be afraid of doing anything that takes more effort.

I didn't make the connection until just this evening that this has been the problem with my cello skills. I have always relied on my natural ability. The times that I have put forth the effort to practice and master certain pieces or passages, I have loved it. But I have let myself rely so much on the other as good enough. And now it is not my time or season to devote much of my life to playing the cello. Maybe some day I'll have a chance to take lessons again. For now, though, my goal is to take it out of the case more often. The kids enjoy it and so do I. And so does Spencer. And the more I use it the greater the chance for the strings to stay in place. And let me tell you, that may be enough motivation because I hate having a toothless cello.

First Day of School

Yesterday was Benny's first day of school.

Here is proof:

And Faith wanted a picture of her two students:

This will be the only year we will be students together. I think it is pretty cool.

Andy wanted to get in the picture. It is kinda sad to see how much he misses Benny (can't really tell from the picture, though).

Birthday catch-up: Benny (and Faith)

17 July Benny turned 5! What a great five years it has been. We decided a while back that this would be Benny's first "friend" party. We probably won't do a friend party every year, but we thought 5 was a good year to start. Benny is such a low-maintenance kid. He'll have his ideas for how he wants things, but if it's not something that's going to work, I can usually offer an alternative and he's just as happy with that. Benny is very matter-of-fact and if I explain things to him, he gets it. That definitely works for me!

For his party, Benny really wanted a piñata. Whenever we would go to Target and he would see the Lightning McQueen piñata he would request that for his birthday. I told him I didn't know if that would work out. Then, when we would go to the grocery store and he saw a donkey piñata - or any other kind they had - he would say, "Maybe I could have that one." I told him we'd see. Some months back I had taken Benny to a birthday party and my friend Tara had made a piñata for her son. So, Spencer and I got to work. We paper machéd a balloon and did a simple round piñata with red tissue paper and a picture of Lightning McQueen and his 95 (Benny requested that specifically when talking of piñatas - the one we made was a surprise). I did the first layer of the paper maché and the next couple of nights Spencer took it as his personal challenge. He already had visions going through his head for every successive birthday party we ever host. The birthday piñata will get progressively harder the older the birthday boy/girl gets. I think it's been decided that at age 18 they'll be wielding a 2x4 with nails sticking out. It's going to be intense. I don't think the goodies will get much better, though. I guess we'll see.

Benny had a great time at his party. We started off decorating brown lunch bags (in which to put collected candy from the piñata). All the kids went swimming in our blow-up pool. That didn't last very long, so they played with balloons and had a great time. There was more swimming, pizza for lunch, the balloon popping relay that turned into taking turns putting the balloon on the grass and then sitting on it (our little chairs were too big for most the kids to sit on the balloon on the chair), the piñata, and cake with homemade ice cream. Benny requested mint brownie and Spencer was happy to oblige - again! Spencer found a great combination of vanilla and mint and perfected the soft and chewy, frozen homemade brownie. Delicious!

Everyone had a great time! For our first "friend" party, I think it went off pretty well. Very low-key and we all had fun.

Oh, and I can't forget the cake. Benny wanted a 'Y' cake. Spencer made the cake and did the frosting and I did the decorating - free-hand! Spencer said he wants his birthday cake next year to be the same. I must have done a good job.

A note about Benny:
Benny is such a wonderful boy and a great big brother. He loves his brother and sisters and is always helping them and me. Just tonight he said that at bed time he would do all the work so that I could play. It was very sweet. Benny is so smart. He remembers just about everything I teach him and will bring things up that I haven't mentioned in weeks like he just heard it. I have been using Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons and we just did lesson 49 today. He has picked it all up so well and it takes us very little time to get through each lesson because he knows it all. I love to see him figuring it out. I have always loves that Benny wants to understand things. He never had a "Why?" phase. Benny's question has always been, "What does {you name it} mean?" I love this question because everything has a meaning and I enjoy being able to share that. One thing that I really love about Benny is his love of family. He really loves us all and loves for everybody to have a part in things. He says that we're going to have two more kids in our family. I asked him why and he said because we have two more seats in our car. I told him that we could maybe get a bigger car. He started to think about that. A few weeks ago, when Benny said this, at one point he got up to 9 or 10 kids. He talks about how some day he will get married. After his mission, though. He asked me the other day why missionaries aren't married yet. I have loved so much the time so far that I have had to be Benny's mom. I know he'll do great when he starts Kindergarten in 18 days!!! I can't believe it's that close, but we're all excited. My only regret is that it is full-day. However, I know that God, in his perfect knowledge of how things should be, placed us here and being here means full-day Kindergarten. We'll all survive and I know that Benny will have a wonderful experience. I'm looking forward to it.

Some pictures.

the cake.

the piñata master.

the birthday song.


enjoying cake on his birthday.
He actually didn't want any ice cream that day. I was very surprised. But the cake was very good!




the birthday boy.


I turned 28 on 21 July. It was a Thursday this year, but Spencer and I got to go out to dinner with some good friends and then we went to see Thor at the dollar theater. And this was after Spencer had surprised me Wednesday with a trip out with my friend Lynsie to pick up some things I needed and had put off getting for some time. It was fun to get out. Spencer also surprised me with some great clothes from Kohl's! It was a great surprise and it was fun to get some new things. It's been a long time since I've gotten new clothes. And Spencer did a great job picking things that fit well.
For my birthday dessert on Sunday, Spencer made a strawberry shortcake from scratch. It was delicious! Spencer is great in so many ways and I love that he enjoys cooking and that he's good at it! We plan to some day enjoy a cooking class together.
I enjoyed a wonderful birthday! And, every once-in-a-while, I still enjoy hearing one of the kids burst into a spontaneous "Happy Birthday, Mom!" Sometimes I even get parts of the song sung to me. It's very fun.

Birthday catch-up: Lilia

We celebrated Lilia's 2nd birthday 15 June. Lilia has been so fun to watch grow up. She will not at all be left behind by her brothers if at all possible. And she does a pretty good job of keeping up. She is learning more and more every day. At her two-year check-up at the doctor, she was able to turn the otoscope on and off, which is no mean feat for a 2-year-old. The doctor said when that happens at that age, she makes a note of it in the chart. We always knew Lilia is one smart cookie! A couple of weeks ago Spencer was in a board review (for Step 2, which he just took yesterday) given by a pediatrician. Apparently 2-year-olds should be saying 2- to 3-word sentences and be understood roughly 50% of the time. Lilia regularly strings 4- and 5-word sentences together and is quite intelligible. Part of that may be that I am her mom, but I think others can usually understand her pretty well.

Some pictures.

The birthday girl.

The pool party.


Birthday burritos for dinner.


Spencer enjoys making and decorating all the birthday cakes.


Wearing her princess gloves and beads from Grandma and Grandpa.


In the birthday skirt I made with the music birthday card from Bubbe and Papa (this one plays "Girls Just Want to Have Fun").


Showing off her birthday things.


We were able to celebrate, again, with a lovely sister in our ward with whom Lilia shares her birthday. We had her over last year for a birthday dinner and we were able to repeat that this year.
We recently discovered that this lady's mother and I share a birthday. What a fun coincidence!