Overheard

Benny: It's good to be me!

lately (long with lots of pictures)

Thought I'd share some of our latest.

Benny showed up one day with this (very faint) black eye (his left - it's okay if you don't see it.) He didn't complain about anything hurting or about him "bonking" somewhere. Who knows?



Then there was this scratch above his left eye. He didn't even complain about it. It just showed up. Again, no idea where it came from. I'm just glad he's not hurting his eyes!



Benny loves for Lilia to wear her shoes. They're still too big for her, but they're awfully cute! He also gives her a hat any time he and Andy are wearing them. Benny recently found this little hat that came with the blessing outfit we used for him and Andy and it's the perfect size for Lilia now (it's size 0-3 months - she and Benny have always had abnormally-proportional heads to their bodies. Andy on the other hand...).



A favorite game of the boys right now: sliding down the couch cushions.



One of my favorite pictures right now.
All biases aside, I am mother to some of the best kids in the world. :)



Another favorite game of the boys. I think this one is called "Flip-flops." They prop the cushion up against the couch and flop down on it.
Lilia likes to come over and join in on the fun (the boys are great and stop playing rough when she gets too close).




The whole ensemble from "Flip-flop" day.
Spencer says it looks like he was dressed by a blind man.
(the 24-month shorts he's wearing barely fit around his waist.)



playing "with" her brothers.


I found these two pictures on the camera one afternoon. Benny and Andy had taken pictures of each other.
Andy really was enjoying himself!


Andy is still mastering the art of capturing a whole subject.


At the end of last week I got ambitious. I had been wanting to try to make a dress for Lilia for a little while and I just decided to do it. My projects need to be limited for now because I'm not letting myself buy more fabric for now. I have a big collection that I bought for a quilt that still needs to be quilted and bound. Until I finish the quilt I need to pull from that stash for any projects I work on.
Using a new dress (from three pictures above) as a loose pattern, I came up with the dress below. For a first try I am really happy with how it turned out. It wouldn't hold up to any close scrutiny, but it sure looks great on our beautiful little girl!




As you can see in the last couple of pictures, Lilia is turning into quite the ham!
Also, if you click on the last picture to make it big and look closely, you'll see that Lilia cut her first two teeth! They were a long time coming, but they made it.

My motivation.

This post may seem a couple of months late, but I think any time is a good time for evaluation. As I mentioned earlier, 2009 was a really good year for me. Honestly, it started out a little rocky for me. We had just finished our first semester of medical school - a big transition for me - and I was in need of some revamping.

I had ended 2008 with too many things going on: making Benny's wolf suit for Halloween without a real pattern; putting together our first Thanksgiving away from home (pumpkin pie from scratch and everything!); getting everything ready for our first Christmas on our own, which, for me, meant making personalized stockings for the entire family (including cutting out material for the baby who would join us in half a year); etc. I was more than thrilled to be coming up on Spencer's three-week break. Unfortunately, I didn't use the break like I should have. Looking back I can see that I have done a lot of growing up since then. It makes me marvel at how much more growing up I have to do - if I can do all I've done in a year, I've got great potential! But I digress.

There are a lot of things that helped me in my progression. One thing that I've been wanting to share for a while was my reading Spin Sisters by Myrna Blyth. You can read a little about it here. It was a great read and I highly recommend it to anyone. There is on chapter in particular that really made a difference to me: the women of America are sold stress. It's true. And I bought into it to an extent. I really have been so much better since realizing this.

Probably my biggest help, however, was when I started keeping track of thoughts and phrases that meant something to me. When I'm having a hard time I have my "go-to's" that mainly consist of my mom and my oldest sister, Bethany (take a look at both and you'll see why). Often when talking to someone about difficult situations, I would end up hearing or saying something to which I would respond, "I need to remember that." Unfortunately, there are too many of those that got forgotten. I only hope that they were internalized and that somehow I am implementing them into my life. I finally got smart and started writing these things down on note cards. Then, I got around to buying a bulletin board on which to pin them. Some things may seem silly. Some may seem obvious. What matters is that they all mean something to me. They're helpful. I thought I would share them.

Make sure your highs get higher and longer and your lows get higher and shorter. - By this one i also have drawn a little graph to illustrate this point. I like this one because it reminds me that progress it progress. and my life really is getting better!
I got this from my mom. She's been teaching this for years. I recently realized that I need to add to it: the highs and lows get closer together. I mentioned that to my mom a few weeks ago thinking I was brilliant. She said that's the final point. I guess I wasn't the great student/TA that I thought. Still brilliant, though. :)

Your capacity grows with your experience. - This is big for me because i used to be scared of some new things (particularly more children) and it's a nice reminder that God blesses us with the ability to do more as we experience life and learn more.
It's amazing how much more this means to me the more I experience different things and look back on what was.

Strength comes from resistance. - Self-explanatory, but helpful especially when i read this on difficult days.

Content communication. - Not necessarily motivational, but it reminds me to say what i mean. It helps remind me that non-verbal communication definitely comes across but it's not completely (or at all) understood. If I want to be understood, I need to not hide my meaning in my gestures, tone of voice, or facial expression. You can go a long way if you say what you mean.
Where this is often used in relationships, I think it is extremely important when dealing with kids. I need to make sure that the words I use communicate to my kids what I want them to get from me.

Parenting is about you. and Parenting is about becoming the kind of parent that God wants you to be. - This is a reminder that I'm not supposed to be trying to change my kids into something that I think they should be. I need to work at being a good person overall and my kids will learn that from me - thereby changing into what I'd like them to be - I just have to be it first. And, boy, is it hard with little ones sometimes!

Patience is not a destination. - this was a big revelation to me one day. i had always thought of patience as a goal, like some day I'll be patient because it just happens at some point, right? I finally realized that patience is about biting your tongue through all the little times that try you during each day. You can scream in your head if you need to, but it's not okay to scream at your kids. Then, if you do that often enough, your initial reaction will not be to scream, but to hold your tongue. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else, but it's been really helpful to me. And I'm getting better at this!

A spoon full of sugar goes a long, long way. - You may recognize this one from Mary Poppins. I love this scene toward the end with Bert and Mr. Banks. A good reminder for me to be nicer.

You can't compensate for the world. - This one is really helpful to me. I realized at one point that because of the world's permissiveness, I tend to drift to the authoritarian side of the spectrum thinking that will somehow balance out the world or that maybe someone will notice and realize they're too permissive. Convoluted thinking, I know, but it was real. This one's a good reminder to me to just focus on my life and my responsibilities (which happen to involve other little lives) and work on them in a more balanced way.

"You have not failed as long as you have tried" - Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley - This was at the very end of the quote from him in the visiting teaching message for October. I actually read this one at the end of September right when we got the Ensign, which I rarely do. I read it on a much-needed day. I'm so grateful to have it from a prophet of God that as long as I am trying, I am not going to fail.

These are all favorites for different reasons, but here are two more that are especially motivating!

"If you are going through hell, keep going!" --Sir Winston Churchill

"Everything is OK in the end. If it is not OK, it is not the end." --Unknown

Just yesterday I added another one.
I want my kids to remember a HAPPY mom. - This idea really hit me about a year ago. I think I'm a generally happy person, but it's easy to get frustrated with little kids. I really want our kids to look back on their childhood and remember a happy mom. This is great motivation for me.

For now I really feel like I'm riding on top. Life is really good and my highs are definitely getting higher. I know that it won't last forever (I'm really not being pessimistic), but I'm really enjoying it while I'm here. And I'm quite confident that my lows are getting higher. Life definitely isn't perfect, but it's pretty darn good right now.

definitely the best motivation I could ask for.

new project

It's been a while since I've had anything crafty going on. I've been thinking for a while of making some skirts for lilia at some point and today I finally tried my hand at it. I made the pattern out of an old paper grocery bag. It worked quite well! It was definitely a good first try. I think I have a good idea of what to change for next time. You better believe there will be more - but maybe not until she's not growing out of things so fast! Last Monday Lilia turned 8-months-old. I have recently started putting her in 12-month clothes. She's a skinny little thing, but she sure is long!

before I made the final decision to add the ruffle.

so glad I added the ruffle. It completes the skirt.

shortly after eating dinner. As you can probably tell, she eats a ton (more than either of the boys ever did)!

the girl definitely makes the skirt!

Andy turns 2!

In an effort to build anticipation and work on delayed gratification with the kids, I've been trying to tell them about more things in advance. I have typically waited until just before something will happen before I tell them about it. That way I don't have to deal with all the questions about when it's going to happen. I finally decided that those can be good teaching moments about how we don't get things right away. We have to wait. And, anticipation is always fun!

The week leading up to Andy's birthday (which was Sunday, 7 Feb), I told the boys that Andy would be turning two on Sunday. Benny decided that singing to Andy would be a very good idea (he's great at singing "Happy Birthday"). We sang to Andy most days of that week.

With 9a church we didn't do anything too special in the morning. We sang "Happy Birthday" and the Cougar Fight Song (an on again, off again tradition).

At church Benny kept telling everyone that it was Andy's birthday and even sang to him a couple of times in the hallway. In Junior Sharing Time Benny was asked a question and answered with, "It's Andy's Birthday!" He's such a caring older brother.

After church and lunch Andy took a really long nap. Longer than he had taken in a long time. Unfortunately he woke up still really tired. It was a struggle through opening presents (we decided to do that first because getting dinner ready took longer than expected). It was even more of a struggle through dinner. We survived it, but more importantly, Andy survived it! And of course, everyone loved the cake and homemade ice cream! Andy chose rainbow chip cake (much to my pleasure!) and we had mint cookies'n'cream. It was delicious!

We got mostly video of our celebration, but here are a few pictures.

Trying to survive. It took a lot of effort to get Andy to eat his "pasta pot" (a name Benny adopted from Strega Nona by Tomie de Paola - a very good read!), but he did eventually finish his plate.

And, of course, who doesn't cheer up for cake?!

And, some recent favorite pictures of Andy:







Andy is such a great kid. He has such a fun personality. I remember two years ago waiting to go into labor on my own. Wanting so much to have a VBAC and avoid another C-section. Andy obliged and I labored throughout my due date delivering shortly after midnight. For a second child he gave me a first experience I don't think I'll ever forget. It took a little bit for us to decide on his name, but it was worth it. I have no doubt that Anderson will live up to his name.

I'm grateful to Andy for not taking me too seriously in the times that I shouldn't take myself too seriously. It's a good reminder to me to lighten up. It's been so fun to watch him grow up so much more in the last few months. And in the last few weeks he's really been working at talking better. It's neat to see his brain working trying to figure out just how to say something. I also love seeing him walk and run around with his short little legs.

Happy Birthday to our little Andy Pants!

overheard

Benny had just taken a ball from Andy and put it out of his [Andy's] reach
Me: Benny, give it back. One, two - if I say "three" you're going to your room!
Benny goes to get the ball off the shelf
Andy: Three!

she's growing up!

Lilia has been able to crawl for some time now. She's figuring her way around the house. She pulls herself to standing on most things. She's even stood on her own for a couple of seconds at a time. I can't believe she'll be 8-months-old one week from today. Time sure does fly!

Ready for church.

I know it's a little blurry, but I love it.

With the birthday boy (more on that later)!

With biggest brother.

what's been going on

Obviously it's been a while since I've posted anything regularly here. Every once-in-a-while I toy with the idea of getting rid of the whole blog. So you know, I'm pretty sure I never will, so this is not a call for comments requesting that I keep it. If we haven't had contact in a while, though, feel free to leave a comment with your email address (I won't publish it) and I'll get back to you!

Everything has been going quite well - of course with struggles here and there.

We had a wonderful Christmas. It was great to have Spencer home for almost four whole weeks! His first round of boards is scheduled for 14 June, so he started studying for that over the break, but we had him around plenty. We love celebrating Christmas on our own. We always miss family, but while we are here we look forward to the opportunity to have our own family celebration. It's nice to be able to stay home and do things according to our schedule.
It was actually a white Christmas this time! On Christmas Eve we got a lot of snow. It was pretty fun - unnecessary for me, but fun all the same - especially because we didn't have anywhere to go. Traveling in snow is definitely not on my list of things I enjoy to do. Spencer took the boys out to play in the snow a few times and they really enjoyed it - until they got too cold.

On New Year's Eve we played Monopoly with our friends Steve and Lynsie. We (at least I) have a renewed love for that game. We had so much fun playing. We actually played twice over the break with them and had a great time.

Always around New Year's I think about my dad. My dad isn't a big fan of New Year's resolutions. He thinks that if you need to change something, change it. Don't wait for the new year. I agree with that idea. I also agree with my mom that the new year is a natural time to be thinking about those things and it's never a bad idea to re-evaluate. I had a nice time mentally reviewing 2009. 2009 was a good year for me. I learned so much and progressed in many ways. I still have many areas in which to improve, but who doesn't. I look forward to the eleven more months (one down already?!) we have of 2010 to continue to become the person that God would have me be.

The kids have been doing really well. Here are some much-needed updates on them:

Benny is doing quite well on going to the bathroom. There are definitely things we're still working on, but I'm pretty much done cleaning up accidents. He's enjoying more and more being a "big boy."

I need to get more puzzles to challenge Benny more. He can do all the puzzles we have in under an hour (3 24-piece regular size, 1 24-piece jumbo, 2 48-piece jumbo, and two train puzzles - numbers up to 20 and letters). Two of the puzzles we have are dinosaur puzzles. He and Andy love the dinosaurs. The other night to get the boys to eat the vegetables in the pasta dish I made, we all ate like dinosaurs. Yes, I was thinking of this movie scene. Hey, it worked. And it wasn't messy. Our dinosaurs use forks.

Andy is talking more and more. The other night at dinner I saw him working to get a three-word sentence out. He said, "Giraffes eat trees!" (Benny had been talking about how elephants eat from trees and Andy wanted in on the action.) Every day he's communicating better and it's fun.

Recently I discovered that Andy has a scar on his head (he's got multiple) that makes his hair stick out on his right side. After almost every nap it's sticking out. I'll try to get a picture some time. It just makes him look more like Andy.

A few mornings ago Spencer got up when the boys got up (he usually does, the wonderful man that he is!). The boys had been wrestling around having a grand old time without their pajamas! They ended up coming next to my side of the bed, huge smiles on their faces, wearing just their diapers, and Benny, happy as could be, proclaimed, "Mommy, we are skins!" I couldn't help laughing.

Lilia is growing up so much. I can't believe she's 7 1/2 months already. Where did the time go?! She crawls all around the house. She's been doing that for a while. She also gets to her feet as often as she can. She's working hard at being strong enough to stand all the way and walk. She wants to be with her brothers. She's a very happy baby and still mostly cries only when she's hungry or tired (and not even all the time then). Sometimes it's easy to forget we have a third.

Spencer's doing well and working hard at school. I'm so glad to have him around as often as I do. He makes great sacrifices to be with us whenever he can.

Benny is now a Sunbeam. I can't believe he's old enough to be in Primary. He's doing great. He gave the closing prayer in sharing time on Sunday. He asked for my help, but I think that was only because I was there. He did a great job of talking into the microphone and wasn't skittish. His first Sunday they made crowns that said "I am a child of God." The next day Benny wanted me to make crowns for everyone else. We enjoy being kings, queens, princes, or princesses around here.


We have white shirts and ties for the boys to wear to church now. They love looking like their Daddy. We got a shirt that came with a clip-on tie for Benny but Andy is still wearing one of Spencer's mission ties (I'm getting quite good at tying a shorter tie for him. Sunday I did it on my first try). Someday he'll upgrade to one his size. I also attempt to come their hair before church. My water spray bottle has something else in it so I've been using the iron sprayer to wet their hair. The boys get a big kick out of that. I say whatever gets the job done! Their parts never last very long, though, so I may just give it up. We'll see how it goes.


Lilia eats more food than you can imagine. Her growth spurts seem to be about every-other-week. On a regular basis she eats 8 fluid ounces per meal of pureed vegetables that I make. There is almost no water added to these vegetables. It's thick stuff. And when she's growth spurting, she'll eat 16 fluid ounces at a time. I can barely keep on top of it. You wouldn't know it to look at her, though. She's such a skinny little thing.


I just finished reading Pride and Prejudice for the --teenth time last night. I've read it almost every year since I was in 7th grade. And, if it's possible, I love it more and more each time. And I don't know how it's possible, but I almost forget how much I love it between readings. I think I get tired of all the talk about the movies and how good they are. The only movie version I've every really enjoyed is the 1940 version with Greer Garson and Laurence Olivier. I netflixed it and plan to watch it this weekend! I might be a Pride and Prejudice snob. Not necessarily a good thing.

This week we were preparing for the ice storm that his us yesterday. We haven't lost power (thank goodness!) and we're doing just great holed up in the house. Spencer's school was closed at noon yesterday through the weekend. We've been trying to tell the boys that his school is in our room right now and they're doing a pretty good job of leaving him alone. I probably need to be better than anybody else about that. I made bread and rolls yesterday morning because at the time we only had one loaf of bread left (Spencer picked a couple more up on his way home). I've always been able to make successful rolls, but yesterday I made my first successful loaves of bread. I had to borrow Lynsie's bread pans because I threw away my one rusty pan several months ago, but I think it's time to invest in some of our own. I'm quite enjoying it! I'm grateful to be in a position to be as prepared as we are. My biggest worry was not having Spencer when the storm hit and being alone with three kids and him being stranded somewhere. If I don't have to worry about that, I'll be just fine.

Benny "reads" Truckery Rhymes

This is mainly for grandparents and other family members. It's 9 minutes long, so you don't have to watch it by any means.


Grandma and Grandpa Cotterell gave the kids Jon Scieszka's Trucktown Truckery Rhymes for Christmas and the boys love it. It's a whole lot of nursery rhymes done with lots of trucks. It's really cute. At first I thought Benny only knew a couple of them. Last week he surprised me by sitting down and "reading" them all.

Emergency Response to Haiti

My dad has provided a lot of mental health disaster relief in the past (Columbine, Louisville flooding, 9-11, Indonesia, plus). While in California visiting my sister and her family with my mom and brother, he got called to go to Haiti. The church put together a team of medical personnel to assess needs, resources, etc. He left Sunday for Ft. Lauderdale via SLC, was rerouted to Miami, flew to Santo Domingo, then rode a bus from to Port-au-Prince where he arrived some time today.

The Deseret News has an article here with some information.

Any prayers are appreciated.

overheard

benny (from under his door waiting for quiet time to be over): "B- B- Ben-ny in the jet!"

Merry Christmas!

Found on mormon.org.

exchange

me: (after seeing him walk out from under the table with something in his mouth) andy, what are you eating?
andy: ahhh. (opening his mouth for me to see)
me: do you need to put it in the trash can?
andy: yeah.

no-shave november; airplane; thanksgiving; train and "piece;" broccoli and other solids

spencer was going to do a "no-shave november" just for the fun of it. he and his friend steve decided to make it a school-wide fundraiser.
here's how it ended up.
he's got such a great beard!



benny was sitting in this basket pretending it was an airplane. i decided to make some wings for him out of a huggies box we had around. of course that ends up not being enough. first he wanted the wheels (out of view). then he wanted a tail fin and cross fin (the way he explained those to me was adorable!).
he loved it for days.



we had a great thanksgiving this year! again, we did it on our own. there's something wonderful about having the whole day on your own schedule - cooking, eating, naps (unfortunately only for andy and lilia that day and every other...), etc.
because of spencer's study schedule i did almost the whole meal. he did get home in time to help me a little with the turkey the night before. we kept it pretty simple and it was wonderful.



the boys ready to eat!
oh, i've got to add the simply apple was a wonderful substitute for crandall's from orem!



benny came to me with a huggies box (our craft supply of choice) to make him a train. he certainly has a vision for how he wants things and sometimes it's pretty impossible. luckily i was able to convince him that this was still a pretty cool train.
andy is in the "piece" made from the smaller overnites box. a perfect fit!
if any of you have seen any thomas and friends shows, the "piece" is gordon's coal car. benny has a gordon toy with what he has always called the "piece."



completely their idea.
benny's reading green eggs and ham and andy's got go, dog. go!



i started feeding lilia solids a while ago. i always start my kids with peas because those are the easiest to make (i also make the food - not for some moral ground, i just think it's better; straight vegetables (cooked and pureed) with water if needed). lilia's reaction to the peas (shown below) was better than her reaction to the broccoli tonight.

that's not a pleasant face. she literally gagged them down.

tonight was worse. she gagged them down and then threw up - i'm pretty sure it was on purpose... i slowed down. she did it a second time. i slowed down even more and let her get used to the flavor. she ended up eating three cubes worth (i always freeze the food in ice trays and transfer it to ziplock bags in the freezer. easiest way i've found to store it).
so now we've got peas, yams, broccoli, and carrots for lilia. i think i'll start mixing the broccoli in with other vegetables. that should help it to be more palatable for her.
i wish i had made broccoli when andy was a baby. he will be done with his meal if we insist that he eat his broccoli before anything else.

a night to remember

our little monkeys are sleeping in the same room!

well before andy was ready for it i tried andy in a "big boy bed" in benny's room. i used to think that because they would have to some time in the future, benny and andy should share a room as early as possible. that night i tried it, it didn't work. it took fewer than five minutes to realize that wasn't going to work.

not too long after that evening i got to the point where i realized that if we have the space to spread them out, why not?! the time will come when we don't have that option. there is no point in forcing that upon yourself.

when lilia was born we kept the boys in separate rooms and put her in our closet. it's a walk-in but there's only just enough space for a pack-n-play (about a foot on two sides, but that's where are clothes are). little by little our clothes have moved out. i don't like it. i want to reclaim our closet. so a couple of days ago i put andy's crib mattress on the floor to see how he would do with the freedom. he did great. he didn't get off the bed at all. he did cry for a little while the first night and not as much the second night. in the morning he just opens his door and comes on out. nap times also worked well. again, a little crying, but he did great. the first day he just sat on the mattress and made noise until i opened the door (just like in the crib). it was really cute. today he came right out. i had originally planned to do this for a few more days before trying him on the big bed in benny's room, but i really want our closet back.

when i told benny that andy was going to sleep on his big bed benny said i would put them to bed and then they would talk. boy does he wish! i told him i'd put andy back in his room if they did. after i read some stories and said a prayer they both got in their beds. andy cried for about two seconds after i closed the door and then was quiet. i haven't heard a peep since! i am thrilled! i might even try nap time for andy on his big bed. tomorrow night i think lilia will sleep in her own real room. it will be her first time in a crib. boy, i hope that goes well!

i know i'm biased...

...but what a cutie!

outside while the boys were eating lunch:







inside after lilia had slept and then eaten lunch:













out-takes...



















i've got to admit, it's fun having a girl!