My motivation.

This post may seem a couple of months late, but I think any time is a good time for evaluation. As I mentioned earlier, 2009 was a really good year for me. Honestly, it started out a little rocky for me. We had just finished our first semester of medical school - a big transition for me - and I was in need of some revamping.

I had ended 2008 with too many things going on: making Benny's wolf suit for Halloween without a real pattern; putting together our first Thanksgiving away from home (pumpkin pie from scratch and everything!); getting everything ready for our first Christmas on our own, which, for me, meant making personalized stockings for the entire family (including cutting out material for the baby who would join us in half a year); etc. I was more than thrilled to be coming up on Spencer's three-week break. Unfortunately, I didn't use the break like I should have. Looking back I can see that I have done a lot of growing up since then. It makes me marvel at how much more growing up I have to do - if I can do all I've done in a year, I've got great potential! But I digress.

There are a lot of things that helped me in my progression. One thing that I've been wanting to share for a while was my reading Spin Sisters by Myrna Blyth. You can read a little about it here. It was a great read and I highly recommend it to anyone. There is on chapter in particular that really made a difference to me: the women of America are sold stress. It's true. And I bought into it to an extent. I really have been so much better since realizing this.

Probably my biggest help, however, was when I started keeping track of thoughts and phrases that meant something to me. When I'm having a hard time I have my "go-to's" that mainly consist of my mom and my oldest sister, Bethany (take a look at both and you'll see why). Often when talking to someone about difficult situations, I would end up hearing or saying something to which I would respond, "I need to remember that." Unfortunately, there are too many of those that got forgotten. I only hope that they were internalized and that somehow I am implementing them into my life. I finally got smart and started writing these things down on note cards. Then, I got around to buying a bulletin board on which to pin them. Some things may seem silly. Some may seem obvious. What matters is that they all mean something to me. They're helpful. I thought I would share them.

Make sure your highs get higher and longer and your lows get higher and shorter. - By this one i also have drawn a little graph to illustrate this point. I like this one because it reminds me that progress it progress. and my life really is getting better!
I got this from my mom. She's been teaching this for years. I recently realized that I need to add to it: the highs and lows get closer together. I mentioned that to my mom a few weeks ago thinking I was brilliant. She said that's the final point. I guess I wasn't the great student/TA that I thought. Still brilliant, though. :)

Your capacity grows with your experience. - This is big for me because i used to be scared of some new things (particularly more children) and it's a nice reminder that God blesses us with the ability to do more as we experience life and learn more.
It's amazing how much more this means to me the more I experience different things and look back on what was.

Strength comes from resistance. - Self-explanatory, but helpful especially when i read this on difficult days.

Content communication. - Not necessarily motivational, but it reminds me to say what i mean. It helps remind me that non-verbal communication definitely comes across but it's not completely (or at all) understood. If I want to be understood, I need to not hide my meaning in my gestures, tone of voice, or facial expression. You can go a long way if you say what you mean.
Where this is often used in relationships, I think it is extremely important when dealing with kids. I need to make sure that the words I use communicate to my kids what I want them to get from me.

Parenting is about you. and Parenting is about becoming the kind of parent that God wants you to be. - This is a reminder that I'm not supposed to be trying to change my kids into something that I think they should be. I need to work at being a good person overall and my kids will learn that from me - thereby changing into what I'd like them to be - I just have to be it first. And, boy, is it hard with little ones sometimes!

Patience is not a destination. - this was a big revelation to me one day. i had always thought of patience as a goal, like some day I'll be patient because it just happens at some point, right? I finally realized that patience is about biting your tongue through all the little times that try you during each day. You can scream in your head if you need to, but it's not okay to scream at your kids. Then, if you do that often enough, your initial reaction will not be to scream, but to hold your tongue. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else, but it's been really helpful to me. And I'm getting better at this!

A spoon full of sugar goes a long, long way. - You may recognize this one from Mary Poppins. I love this scene toward the end with Bert and Mr. Banks. A good reminder for me to be nicer.

You can't compensate for the world. - This one is really helpful to me. I realized at one point that because of the world's permissiveness, I tend to drift to the authoritarian side of the spectrum thinking that will somehow balance out the world or that maybe someone will notice and realize they're too permissive. Convoluted thinking, I know, but it was real. This one's a good reminder to me to just focus on my life and my responsibilities (which happen to involve other little lives) and work on them in a more balanced way.

"You have not failed as long as you have tried" - Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley - This was at the very end of the quote from him in the visiting teaching message for October. I actually read this one at the end of September right when we got the Ensign, which I rarely do. I read it on a much-needed day. I'm so grateful to have it from a prophet of God that as long as I am trying, I am not going to fail.

These are all favorites for different reasons, but here are two more that are especially motivating!

"If you are going through hell, keep going!" --Sir Winston Churchill

"Everything is OK in the end. If it is not OK, it is not the end." --Unknown

Just yesterday I added another one.
I want my kids to remember a HAPPY mom. - This idea really hit me about a year ago. I think I'm a generally happy person, but it's easy to get frustrated with little kids. I really want our kids to look back on their childhood and remember a happy mom. This is great motivation for me.

For now I really feel like I'm riding on top. Life is really good and my highs are definitely getting higher. I know that it won't last forever (I'm really not being pessimistic), but I'm really enjoying it while I'm here. And I'm quite confident that my lows are getting higher. Life definitely isn't perfect, but it's pretty darn good right now.

definitely the best motivation I could ask for.